Propson Palingenesis

Two Weeks of Pumping:: A Photo-log

2012-02-09T12:01:00.000-06:00

I pump breastmilk while at work, usually twice a workday (occasionally just once, at mid-day, if meetings are back-to-back), and I kept a photolog of the past two weeks' worth of pumping. Just because. Why not. And here are the pics!

From what I've read, I'm pumping more than many woman may expect to pump. From Kellymom:

What is normal when it comes to pumping output and changes in pumping output?

...Many moms think that they should be able to pump 4-8 ounces per pumping session, but even 4 ounces is an unusually large pumping output.

It is quite normal to need to pump 2-3 times to get enough milk for one feeding for baby (remember that the pump cannot get as much milk as a baby who nurses effectively)...

As you can see from the photos, I am easily expressing more than 4 oz each pumping session, though that's most because of my right breast; my left provides much less, especially on the second/afternoon pumping.

What's with the way more (crazy lots more) milk on the right side? I have no idea.

I try and put Ilse to nurse on the left side often. And I pump on that side as often (if not even a little bit more, for a few extra minutes) than the right. But, for whatever reason, most of the milk pumped comes from my right breast. If I weren't pumping I wouldn't even know. I don't look/feel uneven, and overall there's plenty of milk for the baby, so I'm not complaining. It's just... a little strange, maybe? I don't know if it's really that I make less milk on that side or whether the let-down on that side just refuses to relax for the pump (but might be just fine for my baby while nursing?).

Milk-powered!

Whichever side she's getting her milk from, it's workin' for her. And me. I'm so so glad we haven't had any nursing troubles like I had with Uli. Such a relief. There might be something to giving things a second chance.

Uli's Recipes

2012-02-04T10:19:00.013-06:00

Uli's most recent imaginative play often involves "going to work." Last week she was a "cookbook writer," and I took dictation on the recipes she thought up. I wanted to share a few:

Feeling peckish first thing in the morning? Of course. How about making:

Breakfast

mustard
pancakes
cream
honey

Mix together. Serve.

Need a beverage with your first meal of the day? One that'll really wake you up? Make a pot of this:

Coffee

coffee
syrup
milk

Mix together. Drink.

The great thing about this next recipe is that if there are leftovers (an unlikely possibility, to be sure, but if there are) they reheat really well:

Enchiladas

sauce
rice
sweet peppers
water
olives
pickles
yellow cheese
black beans

Mix. Bake. Eat.

Need dinner ideas? What could be more comforting on a cold, winter's evening but a big bowl of:

Soup

eggs
water
milk
Sunbutter
syrup

Mix. Cook on stove. Eat from bowls with spoons.

And finally, sweet yet also [for some reason] mustardy:

Pie

cherries
mustard
honey
crust

Mix ingredients together. Bake in the oven until it's done.

All of this, straight off the cuff! I can only imagine what she might create once she gains access to the actual kitchen...

Lunches at Work: January Update

2012-01-16T12:47:00.000-06:00

I feel better about my lunches lately. My family received a membership to our local co-op for Christmas (hurray!), and we've been buying organic products and local produce (where available in January in Wisconsin) keeping my lunches in mind. I've had some good sandwiches and fruit this month so far and have no regrets about overindulging in the snacks while at work.

Today's lunch may be less healthy than my others the past few weeks because it's so much food (and thus so many calories. My husband warned me as I left the house that I wouldn't be able to [or perhaps, even if I could, I shouldn't] eat it all.) but todays is the day I'm blogging, so I'm sharing:

On today's menu is brown rice made right (no sauce, but that's okay--it's good plain as long as it's hot. Swear.), homemade (by the hubby) soup with organic veggies and beans, organic oatmeal & raisins (soaked in milk overnight vs. cooked), and a small slice of veggie pizza with whole wheat crust. And vitamins (I remembered!).

Delicious. And I still have an apple and carrots and celery sticks in my lunch bag for an afternoon snack, if I need them.

Only thing I wish I'd thought of for today: I forgot a spoon. I brought a fork but forgot the spoon so I'm using a plastic one from the breakroom. I hate using "disposable" utensils (especially those that might be leaching poison!!). What I should do is pick-up a single set of flatware from St. Vinny's specifically for me to keep at the office. Filing that away for my next trip there.

Mmmmm. Filling-up on wholesome foods. Don't think I'll be tempted by the chip bags today! (At least, I can write about them here without feeling the intense urge to go buy one. That is progress, my friends.)

When She Takes Pictures

2012-01-12T07:00:00.000-06:00

One of my favorite things about digital is you can let your three year old loose with the camera and you're not out any money for film. And I love downloading my camera and finding surprises like these:

My girl. She belongs on both sides of the lens.

Extra! Extra! Water Heater Turned Down, Mom Doesn't Notice!

2012-01-10T06:00:00.004-06:00

Welcome to the January 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Experiments in Natural Family Living
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have reported on weeklong trials to make their lives a little greener. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
***

When I visualize "experiments," I think of Doc and his DeLorean or Frankenstein and his lonely monster. Compared to those, my family's experiment in natural living is so woefully unremarkable I'm somewhat embarrassed to share it. Of course, compared to those examples, my experiment was real. So, there's that.

We decided to turn down the thermostat on our water heater. We have the old tank kind that most people still seem to have. It sits in the spidery corner of the basement, heating element coming on, going off, on and off, hour after hour, day after day. Lots of water hot and at the ready and mostly going unused. Seemed easy, to turn down the dial. With a four month old and a three year old during the holiday season, easy seemed like all the experiment we could handle.

We were already running the heater at a lowish setting. Our dial's highest level is "Hot," then there are four marks below that, then "Warm," then two marks below that, and finally the coolest level is "Vacation." We were running at one click above "Warm" before beginning our experiment.

Here's a typed representation of the round dial:

-Hot
-
-
-
-
-Warm
-
-
-Vacation

Day One

We turn our water heater down three clicks, from one above Warm to one above Vacation. I notice the water doesn't seem to get very hot when I wash my hands in the kitchen sink, but I don't dwell on it.

Day Two

My husband suffers through a chilly shower and informs me that the water temperature is now too cold. He heads into the basement and turns the temperature back up. I believe our experiment failed.

Days Three - Seven

Life goes on. I take normal showers and fill the bathtub for my daughter. We wash dishes and wash diapers. For all intents and purposes we are normal, hot-water-using people, and I notice nothing out of the ordinary.

It's not until the week has passed and I mention having to write a "failure" post about our natural living experiment that my husband explains we haven't failed at all. I'd misunderstood what he did on back on Day Two. He'd increased the temperature, but not back to where we'd had it before. He'd merely turned it up one click, to just below Warm. We were living happily at two notches below where we'd begun!

Days Eight - Today

And that's where we've stayed. The baby's diapers have been clean (that was one of my big worries, going with cooler water, but so far so good. No stink, no rashes). My three year old's baths have been comfortable for her (still plenty of warm water to splash onto the floor). My showers have been hot (granted, I'm not in there for much more than ten minutes, but that's just how it is when you have small children who wait until you are in the bathroom to decide they really really need you right then).

If the diapers begin to seem dirty after their wash, or when the girls get older and need showers in the morning then I could see us moving the thermostat back up a click or two. But for now it seems we've found our perfect minimum water temp. Perfect because I haven't noticed a difference at all. I do hope we notice some savings when we get our next electricity bill, though. Not bad for an experiment I'd thought failed!

***
Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

Make your own moisturizer! — Megan at boho mama whips up a winter skin-friendly moisturizer.
Cold Water Only — Brittany at The Pistachio Project talks about how you do not need hot water to wash laundry.
Family Cloth... Really?? — After lots of forethought and consideration, Momma Jorje finally decides to take the plunge with family cloth.
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle : 5-5-5 Things A Day — Luschka from Diary of a First Child writes about decluttering her home in an attempt to create a gentler living space. She takes on a new project where she sets a goal of reducing, reusing and recycling every day.
Pros and cons of family cloth — Lauren at Hobo Mama would love to continue replacing paper products with family cloth … if she could only get over how damp she feels.
Craftily Parenting — Kellie at Our Mindful Life finds that crafting makes her a better parent.
Changes — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen couldn't choose just one area to experiment with, so she wrote a long post about all the fun changes initiated in her life!
Life without Internet: Not all it's Cracked up to Be — Adrienne at Mommying My Way tries to go a week without the Internet, only to realize a healthy dose of Internet usage really helps keep this stay-at-home mom connected.
My Progression to Raw Milk — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares her natural parenting progression all the way to trying raw milk.
mama's new little friend. — Sarah at Bitty Bird tries a menstrual cup to "green her period," and is pleasantly surprised when she falls in love with the product!
Before you throw it out, try homemade laundry soap! — Jennifer at Practical OH Mommy shows visual proof that homemade laundry soap is cheaper, easier, and works better than the store-bought chemicals!
Oil, Oil, No Toil, No Trouble — K from Very Simple Secret talks about her foray into the oil-cleansing method.
I Need a Hobby — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro couldn't decide which experiment to run, so she did them all.
7 days of macrobiotics for a balanced family — The Stones make a [successful] attempt to release the "holiday junking" with 7 days of macrobiotic meals to balance their bodies and souls. Elisabeth at Manic Mrs. Stone includes an explanation of macrobiotics.
Chemical Free Beauty Challenge — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction turned to natural alternatives for her daily beauty and cleaning routine, with great results.
Greening my Armpits!? My Green Resolution — Shannon at The Artful Mama talks about how she decided to give up her traditional antiperspirant and make the switch over to crystal deodorants and definitely isn't looking back!
Going Raw (for a while) — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom shares her family's experience with raw food.
Do we get to eat gluten today? — Sheila at A Gift Universe has been trying to figure out if her son does better with or without gluten in his diet … but it's really hard to tell for sure.
Hippies Can Smell and Look Fabulous Too! — Arpita of Up, Down And Natural details her experience of going shampoo-free and overhauling her cosmetics to find the balance between feeling beautifully fabulous and honoring her inner hippie.
Our cupboards are full...but there's nothing to eat — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud takes on the challenge of chomping through the contents of her storecupboard rather than going shopping — but there's something that she just can't bring herself to do …
Elimination Experiment 3.0 — MudpieMama recounts the messy adventures of her baby daughter trying to be diaper free.
Family Cloth Trial — Amyables at Toddler in Tow talks about making and using family cloth wipes in the bathroom for the first time.
Taking a Hiatus — Amy at Peace 4 Parents shares how her experience of much less internet interaction affected her family and how it will change her approach in the future.
Trying Out the Menstrual Cup — Lindsey at an unschooling adventure ditches the tampons and gives menstrual cups a try.
Managing Food Waste in Our Home — Tired of the holiday waste, Robbie at Going Green Mama takes a weeklong focus on reducing food waste in her home, and learns some lessons that can take her through the new year.
Going Offline, Cloth Tissues, and Simplicity — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama muses over her time away from blogging and social networking. In addition, she shares her newfound love of cloth tissues and simplicity.
The Oil Cleansing Method — Erica at ChildOrganics explores an easy, organic and natural way to tackle skin care.
Experiments in Natural Family Living - Natural Toys! — Lani at Boobie Time enjoys the silence of natural toys and being more present with her son.
Discovering a New City and Organic Foods — Amy at A Secure Base describes her family's switch to and search for organic foods for one week.
My Experiment in Homemade Bread — Crunchy Con Mommy tried — and loved — baking her own homemade bread.
Menu Planning: Stop the Excuses — Gaby at Tmuffin stopped the excuses and started planning her weekly meals, drastically cutting her grocery budget and stress level and improving the quality of foods she fed her family.
My First Menstrual Cup — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children was pleasantly surprised with her first experience using a menstrual cup.
My Natural Beauty Regime — Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry shares the results of banishing cleanser and soaps from her bathroom, as well as a couple of natural homemade recipes that have worked well on her skin.
Unplugging and Creating a Rhythm: Our Experiment in Natural Family Living — Dionna at Code Name: Mama focused less on gadgets and spent more time with her family to create a healthy rhythm for the new year.
Experiments in Natural Family Living: 5 First Steps Toward Preparing for a Natural Birth — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama discusses how she tackled the pressing matter of how to begin preparing for a natural birth.
All you need is...vinegar! — Kristen at My Semi-Crunchy Life learns that one household product can replace all the cleaners in her cabinet.
Nope Nada Ixnay Negative Pass Decline — Zoie at TouchstoneZ finds out what shakes loose if she says, "YES!!" to anything anyone asks of her over the space of 10 days.
Reducing our exposure to toxins found in plastics — Syenna at Gently Parenting Twins throws out the melamine and BPA plastics which have been hanging around the kitchen for too long.
Duh! — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares how she began the process of helping her 2-year-old son stop physically acting out.
Experiments in Natural Parenting: Starting, Stopping, and Gaining Perspective — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings explains how pregnancy brain interfered with her attempts to complete an experiment, but how she gained some interesting perspective as she started and stopped several.
From Experiment to Lifestyle — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares her experience avoiding processed foods for a month, and deciding to make it a permanent lifestyle change.
From Disposable Paper to Reusable Cloth – AGAIN! — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle stops flushing trees down the toilet and switches to the softest ever butt-wiping material: cloth.
Extra! Extra! Water Heater Turned Down, Mom Doesn't Notice! — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis finds an energy-saving experiment that's so easy she didn't even realize it was happening.
Worm Tea — CatholicMommy isn't sure how successful her worm bin will be, but she's having fun anyway.
Miles to Go ... — Rachael at The Variegated Life learns that when it comes to sleep debt, she's in real deep.
My Month With Water Kefir — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries experiments with a new fermented probiotic drink homemade in her own kitchen.
OMG Mom is Home... All Day Everyday: A Week-Long Experiment in Connecting — What a difference a week makes! Ana at Pandamoly is afforded a week off from work and takes the chance to reconnect and reattach with her 16-month-old son through an experiment in simply being there.
Creating Healthy Family Recipes — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares her experiment with healthy, gluten-free recipes and a chocolate muffin recipe that was created during the experiment.
Adventures in Alternative Haircare: No 'Poo — This guest post at Natural Parents Network from Amy at Anktangle chronicles a months-long journey into the world of no 'poo.
My Experiment in Natural Family Living: Natural Family Planning — Birth control options are seriously limited for those of us trying to live a little closer to the earth, so Mama Psalmist experiments with natural family planning.

Thomasin's Test Kitchen: Laborade Edition

2012-01-07T14:29:00.000-06:00

While I was laboring with Ilse (I know, I know. I haven't posted the birth story yet. I'm working on it. Promise), my doula made sure I stayed hydrated and energized by giving me sips of various drinks including lots of water, an almond butter-berry smoothie, and--perhaps most refreshing of all-- laborade. I was planning on posting this review of laborade recipes, oh, five months ago. But you know time... So, here we go, five months later than planned but hopefully still interesting.

The idea behind laborade is that it provides quick calories to provide the laboring woman an energy boost (fruit juice and sweetener), prevents dehydration (liquid and salt), calms your stomach (baking soda), and helps muscles relax (calcium & magnesium). Keeping the drink slightly sour can be helpful to increase saliva production and avoid a dry mouth.

I'd planned on testing several different laborade variations before I had the baby and then making a batch of my favorite while I was in early labor. But because I am a terrible procrastinator, I didn't test any recipes beforehand. And then labor started and I was more focused on laboring itself than I was on making beverages.

Thankfully, when my in-laws came to pick up my firstborn, my mother-in-law kindly made a batch of this first recipe. The lemon and honey mixture reminded me the hot water/lemon/honey mixtures my parents had us children drink if we were ill when we were young. Turned out to be very soothing to me, having that familiar taste during the hard work of having a baby. Comforting.

Lemony Laborade from www.naturalbirthandbabycare.com/laborade.html

1 quart water
1/2 tsp salt
1/3 cup honey
1/3 cup lemon juice
1-2 calcium tablets, crushed
1/4 tsp baking soda

Blend/mix well. Chill

I then made this second recipe about a week after Ilse was born and found I liked it even more than the first, which surprises me since I'm not an apple juice person (Hot cider = happy Yes, please! Cold apple juice = indifferent Thanks, no). But using the apple juice as a laborade base was delicious.

Apple Juice Laborade from www.naturalbirthandbabycare.com/laborade.html

2 cups water
2 cups apple juice
2 crushed calcium tablets
1-2 fresh-squeezed lemons
salt to taste
honey to taste

Blend/mix well. Chill

Of course, the internet is full of other laborade recipes I still mean to try. This one sounds particularly interesting because of the molasses (I love molasses):

Molasses and Lemon (or Vinegar) Laborade

1 qt pure water
1 tsp sea salt
1 Tbsp blackstrap molasses
1 Tbsp fresh lemon juice (could substitute apple cider vinegar)
2 Tbsp raw honey

Blend/mix well. Chill

Kimarie of The Cardomom's Pod makes gallon-size batches of laborade for her children (kind of a homemade Gatorade). Her recipe uses lime juice for taste:

Lemon-Lime Laborade

1 cup lemon juice (fresh or bottled)
2 Tbs lime juice (can omit, but is the key to great taste)
2/3 - 1 cup sugar (or 1/3 to 1/2 cup honey)
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
water to make 1 gallon

Blend/mix well. Chill

And these last two sound interesting because they use different fruit juices than most laborade recipes. The first uses pineapple, orange, and apricot (yum!) and the second is Bloody Mary -ish with its tomato juice/tamari mix. I could see either one sustaining a laboring mom.

Apricot/Pineapple/Orange Laborade from www.preciouspassage.com/laborade

1/2 cup apricot nector
1 cup pineapple juice
1/2 cup orange juice
1 1/4 tsp sea salt

          Blend/mix well. Chill


     Tomato Juice Laborade from www.preciouspassage.com/laborade

2 cups tomato juice
1/2 cup water
2 dashes tamari
juice of 1/2 lime

Blend/mix well. Chill

Perhaps you've tried a laborade variation yourself? Care to share the recipe and your review? I'd love to hear it!

Nobler Modes of Life

2012-01-01T15:10:00.000-06:00

It's not exactly what Tennyson had in mind, but once again I am using this time of year to set some goals for myself. I suspect some of my former Resolutions smacked of too generic to be useful. Be Healthy is less helpful to me when I'm deciding between doughnuts or hopping on the elliptical than if I'd promised to eat only homemade snacks for next twelve weeks.

So here, rather than more generic resolutions, is my obscenely long and likely not-totally-doable list of Goals for 2012. (I'm hoping that by hitting the "Publish" button on these I'll be more likely to fulfill some of them than if I'd kept them to myself.)

Create/Media/the Arts

finish knitting Ilse's baby pants by end of January
blog 102 posts (2x week) on Palingenesis
blog 24 posts (2x month) on Wellcookbooked
~~get a spiral planner to plan blog posts~~ done!
read more poetry---at least a few poems a week
write a poem a week (used to write one a day. I can do this!)
see a play at a local playhouse
join Twitter and figure out what it's all about
use Pintrest at least 1x week
revamp the Palingenesis blog's design
schedule evenings for TV and other nights for projects/writing/reading (default in 2011 was TV). Discuss with Justin and figure out by January 15th.
frog the sweaters by my bed
knit socks (one pair for me, one for Justin)
knit handwarmers (one set for me, one for Justin)
set-up sewing machine in place it can be kept out and used
make Advent calendar (by July)
use my lunch break for creating or reading novels vs. net surfing
make flannel mennorah for Hanukkah (by October)
participate in 2012 NaNoWriMo
at least one carnival post a quarter
try at least 24 new sauces or salad dressings in 2012
re-read Arthurian legends/novels
knit wool diaper cover for Ilse
read a classic a quarter
make the girls a puppet theatre

Household

Ilse and I move into Uli's room/futon
go through my clothes boxes in Uli's closet and donate unused
go through downstairs bookshelves and pull books/magazines to donate; rearrange the rest
follow Martha Stewart's housekeeping schedule for a month and see how it goes
plant the garden with herbs/veggies, keeping in mind savings/usefulness
pack decorations (spring/autumn/winter holidays) into easily-findable containers in basement
brush dogs at least 2x month
brush Lucy at least 2x month
decide what to do about Lucy (find new home?)
take dogs for runs in the AM when weather permits (2x week)
make another batch of deodorant using arrowroot
weed through our children's books, pulling the non-literary type
switch to cloth dinner napkins
lay out clothes the night before
keep birdfeeders filled
create chore charts for Uli (bedtime and downstairs)
organize linen closet (make sure everything smells good!)
pick paint color for hallway
hang pictures in Uli's/Ilse's room
find way to keep top of microwave clutter free
keep top of fridge clutter free

Traditions/Memories

celebrate vernal & autumnal equinoxes/equiluxes--look up traditional celebrations
get snapshot/photo of entire family before winter is over
start eating breakfast with Uli/Ilse at table
Passover at my house this year
celebrate solstices--look up traditional celebrations (winter = the burning/releasing old with pouches of tobacco)
one night (first? eighth?) of Hanukkah at my house this year
light a candle during meals at home
print out some photos in "hardcopy" vs. keeping all on computer

Nutrition/Foods & Health/Fitness

jazz up lunch (at least two delicious and nutritious lunches a week)
snacks are limited to the homemade (if I want fries or cookies I'm welcome to them, so long as I [or my husband] has made them at home)
kick the coffee habit! Reduce to one cup a day. Switch to black tea for less caffeine.
exercise DVDS 2x/week (mornings)
sit/squat for one meal a week (coffeetable)
find a healthy whole grain bread both Justin and I can agree on
bake a loaf of whole wheat bread at home (Laurel's Kitchen)
grow and glean items for homemade teas
elliptical 40 mins week (whether 10 mins at time or all in one day)
in good weather: back to walking in the evenings with the girls
find good peanut-free Pad Thai recipe
find raw milk supplier
eat only organic for one month
sign-up for CSA! (use PPlus reimbursement)
work up to sitting on heels comfortably
try meditation (spring?)

Misc.

start a Montessori school fund for the girls
bike to work at least one time in 2012!

OK. That seems like kind of a lot. But I have a whole 365 days. Surely some of the above can be accomplished. And more. I just need to get to it.

How about you? Have you made resolutions/goals for 2012? I'd love to hear them!

35 Random Things About Me On My 35th Birthday

2011-12-29T07:43:00.004-06:00

I’m totally old now, y’all. In the spirit of pretending I’m okay with it, here’s a list. Because lists make me happy. (Hey, there’s a freebee!)

1. I’m the firstborn of two firstborns. (Throw the Capricorn in there, and I should be more driven and neurotic than I am.)

2. As it is (neurosis-wise) I ~~always have to~~ ~~usually want to~~ typically choose to touch the clock on my phone/computer when the digits are all the same (2:22, 5:55, 8:88, etc.). My heart practically stopped this year, November eleventh, at 11:11am.

3. My heart actually did almost stop when I was nearly flattened by a car when I was two and ran toward a busy intersection tripping only at the last moment and barely not dying. Or that’s how my mother tells it. (I now tell the story to Uli but she likes me to use her name instead of mine so she’s the protagonist who narrowly escapes danger.)

4. I was homeschooled. Justin says that’s why I don’t understand physics or football. I say my choice to believe in Star Trek and Stargate and Dr. Who and that new dinosaur show is forward-thinking and based on hope, and that it’s attitudes like his that will kill the future. Also: sports are boring.

5. I'm semi-artsy/crafty! I know how to knit, crochet, sew, play the piano, whistle on prime grasses, sketch with charcoal and dance a short ballet routine my friend taught to me in the sixth grade. And I can do two of those things somewhat well. (Yes, one is the whistling.)

6. I want to learn to play the guitar. It’s on my bucket list. (So is graduating from Harvard. Not all lists work out.)

7. I attended a religious university in Oregon my Freshman and the first semester of my Sophomore years. I left that school to attend a less expensive community college. The transition from multi-million dollar private school to public community college went just as smoothly as you’d expect, so I became an official college drop-out. When I transferred to the UW-Madison years later, my application was accepted only after until I supplied the school with a handwritten note from my mother telling them I was super smart.

8. I was five months pregnant with Uli when I graduated with my BA.

9. I am still in touch with friends from my early teens and early college, but only one or two from my 20s. I was kind of an idiot in my 20s. Totally the opposite of now, in which I’m awesome.

10. I’ve been in a bar fight. Kind of. And lost. (Definitely lost.) And deserved to lose.

11. In my early 20s I was approached on three separate occasions by independent modeling scouts, and I threw out each of their business cards because I believed I was too short. I could just smack my young stupid short skinny self.

12. I’m 5’6.5” but I tell everyone I’m 5’7”.

13. I’m actually 5’6” but tell everyone I’m 1/2 inch taller after first telling them I’m an inch taller because it makes that 1/2” more believable.

14. I’m a compulsive liar.

15. I’m not actually a compulsive liar, though I do like to tell a good story.

16. I was on a six month, no-alcohol kick (New Year’s Resolution) when I met my now-husband. Sober dating. It works. Who’d have thunk it?

17. I am far too lazy to study something in which I don’t excel. I often use improper grammar and made-up words on this blog (and whilst speaking), but I swear I received my English degree with minimal effort and excellent grades. And only a few instances of I can’t drop off my [unfinished] paper because I have really bad cramps and it’s still the late ‘90’s so no one emails their papers yet. I believe you have to understand the rules, but once you’ve got ‘em, go ahead and mix it up.

18. I started to type this list using the Roman numerals but at this point realized I can’t remember my Roman numerals. (Is anyone else so glad they stopped using those to tell you when a movie was released? Anything earlier than ’95 and it may as well have been made in ’35, for all I can tell.)

19. I’m being serenaded by a baby right now. Sweetest ever reason to be awake at 4am.

20. While I nurse Ilse, if I’m not so exhausted that I nurse her in my sleep, I’ve been known to watch TiVo. I’ve caught-up on Modern Family and Suburbia, Grey’s Anatomy, Bones, The New Adventures of Old Christine, that show about the nerds with that girl from the show where the one actor died, ANTM, Hell’s Kitchen, Kitchen Disasters, The Secret Circle, and How I Met Your Mother. I may have a problem.

21. Words I've written have been published in a mazagine, but it was ghost written for someone else so I didn't get the credit.
22. I love Trivial Pursuit but I prefer to play special house rules in which every correct answer wins a game piece rather than only when landing on the “proper” sections on the board, if you don’t know the answer to the question you pulled you can guess one of the other answers on the card without hearing the other questions (tip: guess Germany and you’ll be surprised how often you’re right), and my competition should be at least one shot of whisky ahead of me at all times. (That’s my strategy for most games, in fact. Hasn’t failed me more than half the time.)

23. I was a vegetarian for ten years, then I decided to re-introduce organic, free-range meats back into my diet but it quickly devolved into scarfing down items from McDonald’s dollar menu and loading up on ham at potlucks, so now I hate myself and am trying to decide whether I’m back to being veggie or if my family can commit to avoiding the Frankenmeats for real this time.

24. For a while I challenged myself to write a poem a day as a mental/lingual exercise and I was able to sustain that for about six months. I continued writing poetry (thought less often) for years afterward. I have notebooks full of poetry.

25. I once let someone read my poems, and she asked me whether I’d sought counseling for my emotional imbalances. It’s true, that actually happened to me.

26. I love the name Keiko and considered it during both pregnancies, but it was vetoed (not pointing fingers. Just sayin’…). Someone doesn’t think we’re Japanese enough to name a girl Keiko. Nor does he think we’re Latino enough to name a boy Mateo (also a favorite of mine, also vetoed). I say: what’s the good of a book called 88,000 Baby Names if you have to stick to those of your own ethnic heritage? Luckily, the Scandinavian and Germanic peoples have rich cultures from which we were able to draw names we both adore.

27. Back at my apartment, whenever I ran out of clean silverware (which, oddly enough, happened rather often even though I had a dishwasher) I would just use chopsticks. I enjoy eating with chopsticks.

28. Of the Asian cuisines with which I’m familiar so far, my favorites, in descending order of deliciousness, are: Thai, Nepali, Indian, Japanese, Afghani, Russian, and Chinese.

29. My favorite movies include, in no particular order: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (you have to use the whole title), Titanic, Almost Famous, Harry Potter (I and III especially. Mostly because I love the books), Anne of Green Gables, Aliens, LOTR trilogy, Star Wars original trilogy, The Lion King, Princess Bride, and the Kill Bills.

30. My favorite things to read include Agatha Christie novels, LOTRs (including the appendixes), anything by the playwright Martin McDonagh (brilliant) Elizabeth Peters' Amelia Peabody mysteries, the Dune books by Herbert, and Vogue (even though it infuriates me and I had to cancel my subscription because it was so clearly evil and had ridiculous money-saving ideas about dresses that cost only $400) and natural parenting and birthing blogs.

31. I can sing anything to the Shaka Zulu theme music. And I do. Often.

32. I hate driving in the snow but I hate even more being a passenger in the car when someone else is driving in the snow. I yell out helpful things like Watch out! and That patch looks slick! and Slow down or we’re gonna die! Drivers appreciate my advice.

33. I haven’t worn makeup regularly for nearly two years now. I now feel really fancy when I put on mascara when I used to think I looked naked without it.

34. I love to wear jeans but wish I preferred to wear dressier trousers. They are so much classier. I avoid sweatpants in a probably misguided attempt to look presentable.

35. I used to wear beautiful high heels and spent a good portion of my take home pay on stylish clothing. I also suffered from back and knee pain and an inability to pay my bills (I found just throwing them unopened into a box in the closet worked well to reduce the no-money stress). I have since reformed into a Birkenstock-wearing, rather frumpy-clothed woman who can pay her bills. I prefer the mother I’ve become to the girl I once was. Even if I’m a wrinkly 35 years old.

And there you have it. More than you ever needed to know about someone whom you may only know from the internet. ;-)

I love my sweet girls

2011-12-20T12:19:00.000-06:00

Ilse was making new sounds this morning. Not talking, obviously, but new-to-her noises. It's amazing, watching her grow. And it's fun, watching her watch Uli, who is also changing daily.

What amazing children I have. Their relationship is evolving. I no longer see the only-child whose territory was invaded. Instead, I have two girls. Sisters. Uli talks about loving and protecting and teaching things to Ilse. Ilse smiles the biggest, most amazing smiles for Uli (not even momma gets these smiles. They're a mile wide and accompanied with lots of eye twinkles and arm waiving and occasional wild cooing).

Ilse loves to hold your fingers and push up with straightened legs until she's standing. I don't remember Uli doing that (at least, not so often. At four months). She also loves to hold and turn the pages of That's Not My Reindeer, drooling over the shiny foil illustrations.

She thinks we're documenting her candy score,
but I really just wanted a picture of her with her hair brushed! ;-)

Uli now gets her crayons out of their box by herself, and she's been on a coloring spree. If you leave paper within her reach (which is extensive) you are going to come back to it and find embellishments of red, yellow, blue, and green. Guaranteed. She also calls her father and me by endearments we use with each other and with her. It's not unusually for her to say, "Hi Sweetheart" to me or "Okay, Honey" to her daddy. I love that and I'm soaking it up, for I suspect she won't keep it up for long.

Every day is a a day I'm thankful to be with my family. Love these little ones so so so much.

Lunchtime Purge

2011-12-19T12:35:00.000-06:00

Mental purging, people, mental.

I've been thinking. I eat like crap. Seriously. I make some good homemade meals, and my husband does his best to cook interesting meals day in and day out (whilst also managing our household and caring very sweetly for our two girls), but overall what I bring to work for lunches is too often too much of the bad stuff and too little of the good. I came to this conclusion after looking at today's lunch and realizing it was awesome and how usually I don't eat as well.

Today's food so far:

Breakfast (no awards here)

Coffee with del-ISH creamer someone shared with me (ok, so this one is kinda bad)
Small piece of almond kringle someone set-out in the breakroom (props for the "small"?)

Lunch

Coffee with milk (hurray! No sugar or weird transfats! but... two cups of coffee isn't my finest hour)
Hard-boiled egg
Borscht
Steamed broccoli
Two clementines (though, technically they aren't part of lunch. I'm saving them for a snack)

Good lunch, no? I wish it were like this every day. But it's not. Even when my husband sends me to work with healthy items in my lunchbag I am often tempted by the dark side and scarf down on the amazing amount of fatty, nutritionly void, really tasty, crunchy and/or sweet treats I can buy at work (even worse: each costs a dollar. Bills fly from my finger tips. Just. Like. That. And suddenly the food is in my mouth. And then, worse, gone. And I'm still hungry. And poorer. Horrible.)

So this all leads me to think I should start talking/writing more about what I eat. Because public shame is a motivator for me. If I know I "have" to share what I'm eating I'm more likely to stick to a healthier diet. It's just a thought, but I think it'd be good for me.

Other thoughts:

I cannot believe Christmas is THIS WEEKEND. I need to get my Christmas Eve Eve menu finalized and get to the grocery store!!
I hurt my back this weekend. I reached for and lifted a kitchen sponge off the back of the sink and nearly passed out from the spasm of pain (didn't lift with my knees?). Justin says it's because my core is weak. But apparently, to strengthen my core, I need to, like, exercise. And, get this, all the work I've put in moving my fork to my mouth doesn't even count. Bummer, man.
I wish lunch breaks were longer. And took place on the beach. In Mexico.

Letters to Santa, 2011

2011-12-05T20:15:00.000-06:00

Dear Santa,

Uli has made her first Christmas list! She would like:

a drum
a flute
a baby kitty

That would be a real baby kitty, in case you're wondering. Apparently the five cats we already have are too old and don't climb up our legs often enough.

Ilse, while not yet able to compose an official list, nevertheless appears to enjoy dog toys, which reminds me of her older sister, who also favored our pups' things.

It's your call, Santa. Kittens. Dog toys. Whatever. We're ready!

(But no kittens. In all seriousness. No.)

Recycled Holiday Postcards

2011-12-02T11:55:00.001-06:00

Do you save the Christmas cards people send you? I do. They're usually so pretty, I never feel right throwing them out, not even into the recycling bin. So I've been ~~hoarding~~ saving-up cards these past few years. I just tuck them into the boxes of decorations and down into the basement storage they go. But then each year as we set-up the tree my husband asks me, What are we doing with all these old cards? I've always told him I'm working on a project; he's humored me so far, even though he knows my "projects" might take a year or two (or four) to percolate. But I've always been certain I'd figure out some way of reusing those cards someday. And this year, I did!

My family is cutting back on household expenses, and holiday cards, especially the ones I like to buy on recycled paper (have you noticed the stores seem to charge a dollar or so extra for them? Opportunists), seemed a natural item to trim from the budget. (Nice to send and awesome to recieve, but necessary on a tight budget? Not exactly, what with e-mails and FaceBook.)

But I was sad, thinking about not sending any cards to my friends and family. I love receiving them and figure my loved-ones do too. But how to make it happen this year... I had some cards left over from previous years' mailings that I decided to send to new friends not on our previous mailing lists, but how to share holiday wishes with the rest of my family and friends?

Enter: stroke of brilliance!

You take the lovely cards people mailed to you in years past.

Cut them in half, seperating the pretty card front from the well-wishing and family/friend signatures inside.

Write your own well-wishing and holiday greetings on the back of the cards' fronts, just like you would on a postcard. Address as you would a postcard.

Voila! Holiday postcards for those you love, upcycled by you from past years' cherished cards.

Is there a risk you'll send the card Aunt Kathy sent to you last year back to Aunt Kathy this year as a postcard? Possibly. I recommend checking the signatures before cutting off the cards' backs and addressing them. I had a few cards that I'd already cut-up, so it's a possibilty I'll be mailing back someones card to them. But would that really be a tragedy? They chose to send them in a past year because they liked them, right? However, for those cards I had saved intact, I did take steps to ensure I wasn't re-mailing them back to their original sender. I even went so far as to seperate the cards we'd received from my husband's family from those from my own family, and then also from my friends, and then attempted to mix-up the postcards enough so that my family's former cards were sent to my husband's family and vice versa, so no one would notice repeats from last year. But if I messed some up? I'm not worried. I think everyone who knows us will be okay with my thrifiness and will--it is my sincere hope--understand that it isn't because we don't love them that we didn't buy new cardstock this year.

How about you? Have any cards saved from years past and wondering what to do with them? I wholeheartedly recommend the postcard recycling method. It not only saved us money, but it was fun to go back through all the cards and try to pick out the best card for each recipient on our list. It helped me get into the holiday spirit for sure!

Wordless Wednesday: Napping

2011-11-30T19:37:00.000-06:00

My sweet Ilse

Baby dreams

Baby cheeks

The baby I love

Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T19:09:00.000-06:00

Recap:

Awoke at 2am to an aroma of roast turkey (Justin put it in last night at 10:30pm for slow roasting).

Watched Poky Little Puppy's First Christmas for the third (forth?) time with Uli.

Ilse rolled-over for the first time!

Icing on the Cake coffee. Mmmmm.

Cooked. Ate. Cleaned. Ate some more.

No naps.

Pizza for dinner.

Bedtime at 6pm (thank you, no naps!).

Disagreement over which Star Wars is movie "number one" (I say A New Hope from 1977, Justin insists its Phantom Menace, '99). Consensus not reached.

Hope your Thanksgiving was as good! Happy Holiday!

Three

2011-11-12T07:00:00.000-06:00

My first baby is three. Wow.

And she's a lovely three. Smart. Funny. Beautiful.

But very, very three, if you know what I mean.

She's inquisitive, playful, and continually testing boundaries.

She has a growing vocabulary that includes phrases such as "You're being ridiculous, Mama!" (which she uses when I am insane enough to ask her to stop jumping on/off the furniture or to change out of her pjs) and "I just don't like to think about it" (which is usually preceded by my question, "Do you know you're being very rude?").

She loves her little sister and when we play house Ilse Louise (or "Ilse-Sueeze" per Uli's pronounciation) is her baby. However, Uli doesn't like it when Ilse looks at her toys and moves them out of her line of sight if she feels Ilse is paying too much attention to any one baby/fluffy animal/set of blocks (I try reminding her that rather soon Ilse will be mobile and able to do a bit more than just look...).

Sharing continues to be a difficult concept for her (I now completely understand why parents would have a big, fancy away-from-home birthday party for their three year old---neutral toys. I would do anything to avoid a repeat birthday tantrum with screams of "Those kids are playing with my toys! No, no no! I want them to go home!" Soooo embarrassing...)

I'm still not certain about television for a child her age, but she watches a PBS show here or there when a day is going well. Curious George, Super Why!, Sid the Science Kid, and library videos of Ni Hao Kai-Lan. And she's been introduced to the spooky world of Scooby Doo (the age-appropriateness of which may or may not be hotly contested in our home, but a show which I admit she does seem to enjoy). She also loves "the zoo show," especially on nights when we all pile into mommy and daddy's bed and enjoy a movie and popcorn before it's time to sleep.

She's beautiful, my girl. And is definitely now a young child rather than a toddler.

Happy three, Uli! We love you!

Wordless Wednesday: Sisters

2011-11-09T14:38:00.000-06:00

If it were up to them it'd be all jammies all the time.

Uli Plays House

2011-11-08T07:04:00.000-06:00

Smiling for the camera, October 2011

I'm in the hallway.

Knock, knock.

Uli opens my bedroom door.

Uli: Hello! Come into my house.

Me: Why thank you for inviting me in. What a lovely house you have!

Uli: Yes, and see this baby here? (Gestures to Ilse propped up on the bed.) This is my baby who just came from my uterus.

Me: Well, my goodness! She seems very large and healthy. You must take good care of her. What's her name?

Uli: Ilse-Sueeze. She's a girl baby.

Me: So nice to meet her.

Uli: Over here is my kitchen (motions toward the dresser), here is the basement (points to the closet) and this is the dining room (rocking chair). And now we should have breakfast. Would you like pancakes and eggs and cheese? Hands over a cup of barbeque-flavored sunflower seeds.

Me: Mmmmm. Oh yes, delicious.

Uli: And now it's time for bed. Quick, get into bed! Runs and jumps onto the bed, jogging Ilse who starts, stares and then smiles at her big sister. Uli throws the blankets over both of them.

Me: Gets into bed. Snore. Snore.

Twenty second pause

Uli: Okay, now wake up! It's morning. What a lovely day. Okay, now go out of the room, into the hallway and then knock to come in!

....and....

Repeat. Like, ten thousand times.

Elusive Baby Smile

2011-10-24T06:00:00.001-05:00

She gives them so freely in person, but they're hard to catch on camera.

Love!

What's the opposite of an ovo-vegetarian?

2011-10-21T06:00:00.000-05:00

Because What do _______ eat? is one of her new favorite topics of conversation.

Uli: Mama, what do lizards eat?

Me [not really current on lizard cuisine]: Umm... Bugs. And plants. Well, maybe not plants... Eggs?

Uli: [horrified] No, not eggs! Eggs are where baby birds grow! They grow up inside and pop out of the shell. Lizards aren't allowed to eat those babies' eggs, no!

Me: Some lizards maybe do eat eggs I think. And meat.

Uli: Maybe meat, yes. But not the baby bird eggs. It's not okay to eat eggs.

Me: Some animals have to eat eggs and meat.

Uli: Not me. And not lizards, not any more.

She's on a crusade.

A Walk

2011-10-19T22:42:00.001-05:00

We went on a walk tonight (our usual evening pastime) and we all wore hats and gloves, it was so cold. And even with her hat on my poor baby's ears were still chilly when we got home. Brrrrrrr.

I'm already mourning the warm so I'm going to ~~dwell on the loss~~ share a lovely memory from this summer/early-fall. My sister sent us a Little sized doll wrap for my daughter, and Uli loves carrying her babies on walks just as I carry Ilse. Isn't she adorable?

The Good Old Days, when one didn't need a parka to be outdoors...
[aprox 30 days ago]

Sure is hard to believe that I used to carry her everywhere. It wasn't even that long ago...

Summer 2009

Never really got the hang of the back carry...
But this one time, it worked!

Rain, schmain! (Hi Liz! Thanks for Uli's doll wrap!)

Memories. And a lifetime more to make! How many miles will we walk? I wonder. :-)

Babywearing

2011-10-13T22:25:00.000-05:00

http://babywearinginternational.org

It's international babywearing week, and I'd meant to make a whole big deal about it and try new wraps and talk about the types of carriers I have and post lots of pictures. But I didn't get around to any of that.

Instead, I've been hanging out with my family and being back at work part time and going on evening walks in the last of the beautiful weather. But I've been wearing Ilse every day through all of that, so I think I can still say I celebrated the week properly even if I didn't blog about it.

Happy babywearing to all!

Sharing the love (i.e. breastmilk)

2011-09-30T00:03:00.000-05:00

To date, Ilse and I have had so few nursing issues it's ridiculous. She's a super nurser, and I've had massive amounts of milk.

But I think back to 2008. My sweet newborn Uli. Such terrible, terrible troubles feeding her. A very small mouth that couldn't latch well despite several visits with different lactation consultants. And my milk supply simply refused to come in, whether it was the c-section or the medications or just me... ugh, it didn't matter. It was awful. For a mama who wanted to breastfeed exclusively it was more than disheartening, it was nightmarish.

I pumped round the clock to build my milk supply until she could learn to latch, but we had to come up with some way to feed her in the meantime. Our midwives had connections with a for-purchase milkbank, and I was very grateful for the breastmilk we were able to buy from them. But at $4/oz we weren't going to be able to afford it for long, and I worried my supply wasn't coming in quickly enough to meet Uli's needs.

Have you milkshared? There's a chance this was your milk!

I tearfully told one of my friends my situation during a phonecall, and she showed up at my door that same week with nearly 40 oz of her own expressed breastmilk. I felt blessed. Her gift, along with the purchased milk and what meager amounts I was pumping, was enough to feed my hungry little one until she finally grew enough to latch and my milk finally had a chance to come in. It took nearly six weeks, but we did make it. We were a nursing pair!

And then I went back to work. And my supply that had been doing so well with direct feedings dipped once more. The anguish! So I upped the number of times I pumped per day. And took fenugreek. And dropped by the daycare mid-day to get a dose of milk-making baby vibes. And pumped more. And nursed and nursed and nursed whenever my baby and I were together. And it was just enough.

Until one day, it wasn't. I showed up at our daycare provider's house, and I didn't have enough milk for my daughter for the day. The freezer stash I'd carefully built before returning to work had been wholly depleted, and I hadn't gotten enough from pumping the day before. I handed our provider the few ounces I did have and broke down in tears. I didn't know what to do. I was so embarrassed to find myself crying over breastmilk. What would this woman think of me? I imagined her rolling her eyes and telling me to just buy some formula already. But she didn't do anything of the kind. Instead she hugged me. And then offered me something I hadn't expected. She said her daughter (just a month older than Uli) refused to drink from bottles, and thus she had unused expressed milk in her freezer. She offered to share her entire freezer supply with my daughter. I can't fully describe how I felt at that moment, my feelings of gratitude. It was amazing, her gesture. Amazing. I accepted wholeheartedly and Uli thrived.

After that I upped my fenugreek supplementation and pumping sessions. Uli began to eat solid food during the day and nursed more at night. Once she turned a year old we introduced goat and cow milk and then I breathed a sigh of relief. I continued to pump for a few months past her first birthday, but eventually felt okay giving that up. She gradually reduced her time at the breast, eventually nursing only at bedtime.

Uli nursed for the last time earlier this year, when I was a couple months pregnant with Ilse. The first night I didn't nurse her to sleep she asked for my milk a few times but soon accepted that I wasn't able to give it to her. There were no requests the second night. She was weaned. Just like that. I'd imagined the end to our nursing relationship was going to be as dramatic as its beginning. But instead it was simple and sweet. To be cherished.

I am so thankful to the other mothers who shared their milk and helped make Uli's and my nursing relationship possible. If it hadn't been for them we may not have been able to nurse in the first place. Or our nursing may have ended earlier in frustration and with feelings of failure. But instead, my daughter was provided with the breastmilk she needed and I was given the time my body needed to build and rebuild my supply.

Milksharing. It's a beautiful thing.

The Past Six Weeks: A Review

2011-09-23T07:00:00.000-05:00

I was pregnant.

41 Weeks Pregnant

And then I wasn't anymore.

Ilse Louise

My firstborn has a little sister.

Two beautiful girls!

I have a nursling!

Lots of snuggles

Ilse has tons of hair.

Swoopy Curl care of Neko [the cat]

I think she looks like her daddy.

Uli is taking it all pretty well. (As well as a nearly-three-year-old can.)

The new "smile for the camera" smile

We Propsons are a happy family of four. :-)

Why Did I Want the Placenta?

2011-09-12T15:23:00.001-05:00

Nope, I still haven't written Ilse's birth story. Workin' on it. ;-) But I thought I'd write about something else in the meantime. Of all the comments/questions I received about my birth plan, there was one most common. What on earth can you want with the placenta? several people asked (in varying tones of panic). At the risk of alienating a few readers and frightening my family and friends, I've decided to tell you.

I wanted it for this:

Shakes. Smoothies. Of placenta (and juice and fruit).

Now, to some of you placentophagy (ingesting the placenta after childbirth) isn't a foreign concept. You're probably the ones who, like me, have been frequenting some crunchier online forums, edgier mom's groups, or reading the more natural parenting magazines. You may or may not have consumed a placenta yourself, but you're aware of the practice and probably know other moms who've done so.

But if you're hearing about this for the first time or are firmly entrenched in more mainstream customs you might be... alarmed by this idea. I understand. I was once alarmed (i.e. totally disgusted and freaked by the thought). Before you gag on what you're eating or throw up bile or whatever you are going to claim happened to you just now, just keep reading. Because, while I understand it sounds unusual, it's not as gruesome as you may suppose.

I'll first mention that many women who ask to keep their placenta do not intend to ingest it. There are other reasons to want a placenta.

You might want to make a placenta print (which looks remarkably like a tree. Tree of life. Call it a birth tree, etc.) with the placenta as an art piece commemorating the birth. You can see a woman providing instructions on this here on YouTube. They can be quite lovely and a truly unique piece of artwork.
Others may plant/bury their placenta. They may intend to hold a ceremony (and say a few words about birth/their child/motherhood) or they may simply dig a hole and perhaps plant a tree over the placenta.
I'm on a forum where one mother, though vegan, cut up and fed the placenta to her dogs, believing that to allow it to be incinerated at the hospital was to unduly deny her pups a meal of ethically obtained meat.
And there's always the placenta teddy bear. Seriously. Click here. (Or don't. I actually find this one mildly disturbing.)

But back to consuming the placenta. It's claimed that there are nutritional benefits to the practice:

[T]he placenta contains vitamins and minerals that may help fight depression symptoms, such as vitamin B6 ...[and] the placenta is considered rich in iron and protein, which would be useful to women recovering from childbirth, and a particular benefit to vegetarian women.

http://placentabenefits.info/medicinal.asp

Beyond iron/protein, it has been claimed the hormones found in the placenta may ward off postpartum depression.

Now, some say that these benefits are only really helpful to an undernourished mother and that we modern humans don't need (and thus should turn away from) any sustenance which may be received from the placenta. And I would agree that most of us mamas don't *need* the placenta as a meal like, say, a mama cat might. After I give birth my husband and family brought me other nutritious food. And even if they didn't, I'd been well fed prior to labor and I wasn't birthing out in the wild in need of a sudden jolt of protein so I could be on the alert for predators. Nevertheless, there are nutrients and hormones in the placenta and consuming them may provide the new mother with something necessary (and possibly even unstudied/unknown). The social rules disproving of a mother's ingestion of the placenta seem unfortunate. If there's a chance to receive benefits from the practice I think a mother should be able to receive them without censure.

Of course, the benefits I've received may all be from a placebo effect. I'll give you that. But even if it's a placebo effect, I do feel better emotionally after this labor and birth than I did the first time around. Was this birth different? Absolutely. It was a gentle birth at home vs. an unwanted c-section. Is healing from my vaginal birth taking less of a toll on me than the surgery? Yes, and I suppose that's true for most natural births when compared to cesareans. Is my avoidance of court TV a benefit to my mental health? Absolutely; People's Court and Judge Joe Brown did not contribute last time to a feeling of wellness or peace or foster a positive outlook about our country. But might some of my happiness and energy be from my shakes? I think so. I truly do. And (according to some viewpoints) if I think so, so it is. And that's good enough for me.

There are three main ways to consume a placenta:

Raw (which includes being frozen and blended into smoothies)
Cooked (It's just meat, after all. Click HERE for actual placenta recipes to cook. Even if you're squeamish, don't worry: no pictures on this particular link)
Dehydrated and encapsulated (I've found this is by far the most socially accepted way to consume a placenta, but it also costs money--about $300 in my city. That is, it costs money if someone else does it for you. You could give it a shot yourself and try it for free. See HERE or HERE for a tutorial on how to encapsulate a placenta at home)

I chose option one. My midwives offered to cut my placenta into small pieces and those pieces were placed into mini ice cube trays which were themselves put inside Ziplocks and then into our freezer. Because the pieces are small and frozen I'm able to pop them into my smoothies without any gross-out factor. Easy and gives me some voom each morning.

My basic recipe is:

1 cup juice (I prefer orange or pineapple but apple is also very good)
2-3 Tablespoons yogurt (whole fat vanilla is my preference)
Mix of frozen berries

1-2 Tablespoon raspberries
1-2 Tablespoon blueberries
2-3 large strawberries

1/2 banana (optional)
4 pieces of frozen placenta

It's good, I swear. You taste only juice and berries.

And that's why I wanted the placenta. So now you know.

Gross. Just Gross.

2011-08-31T12:19:00.001-05:00

You know there's too much clutter when you confuse your daughter's toys with real animals. And vice versa.

This week, coming down the stairs and entering my living room, I saw this monstrosity on the carpet, seemingly frozen mid-scuttle:

Plastic Cockroach.
Rumored to be even hardier than a regular cockroach.

I nearly (nearly) immediately realized it was one of Uli's toys and laughed at myself. How silly of me, to be startled by a plastic insect!

And then I surveyed the rest of the living room floor and all its crazy mix of toys (mainly comprised, on the evening in question, of plastic insects and cloth barn animals).

And I found myself thinking, "Yup, I'm so stupid to have been scared by the plastic bug. It would be like me being startled by that toy dead mouse that's lying next to it. With gashes in it's belly. Made to look like it's in full rigor. And, seriously, how silly would it be of me to be scared by something like that?"

It was a few seconds before I realized that Uli doesn't have a plastic toy mouse made to appear it'd been mauled to death by cats.

Ugh.

Reenactment of Said Scene
(lacking a pic of the actual dead rodent)

41 Weeks :: A Birth

2011-08-11T06:58:00.000-05:00

Operation Homebirth was a success! Meet my newborn daughter:

Ilse Louise

Born 08-08-11

8 lbs 2 oz

Lots of golden hair

Nurses like she's done this before (but I don't think she has)

I haven't typed up the birthstory quite yet. I've found myself very busy with things like looking into my baby's eyes, cuddling with my two year old and telling her I love her, watching TV with my husband, and eating and sleeping. It's a busy schedule and I am uncertain when it'll let up.

I'll tell you one thing now. She was worth the wait.

40 Weeks

2011-08-01T11:50:00.002-05:00

Technically this pic is from Saturday, so it's 39 weeks, 5 days. But close enough, right?

So. My estimated due date. Today. Will the baby come? Perhaps. But probably not. It was bizarre that Uli was born on her EDD and I would fall over if that happened again with this baby. Not that I would complain (Come Baby, if you'd like! Mama would be happy!) but I just don't really expect it. It'd be more likely to be tomorrow. Or Weds. Or next Saturday. Any day but today.

And as difficult as it is to wait, there are some things to be grateful for in all this waiting. I get to revel in the last bits of pregnancy. That's right, revel! I do truly enjoy being pregnant. I haven't had the heartburn or swelling or aches that many other women (including myself, to a point, last pregnancy) have to suffer through.

Justin says it's not a good reason to think about having more babies just because pregnancy is fun for me. I don't know if I agree with him...

Things that I'll miss about being pregnant:

Fast-growing nails
Healthy hair
Clear skin
No joint aches (I've been enjoying the Relaxin experience lately. Very bendy and happy and fewer aches than when I'm not pregnant!)
Constant company (Hello, little one! I sure can feel you in there, be-boppin' around!)
A tight belly (True, it's also a giganto belly, but tight is tight, and I'm enjoying wearing form-fitting shirts and even showing my belly off in a swimsuit and not feeling self-conscious about squishy abs.)
A reason to read as many birthy-ish blogs and books as I want (love birth! So fascinating.)

As much as I enjoy pregnancy, I am ready to meet this little one. So I'm not hoping I go until 42 weeks or anything. But I guess that if I were to be pregnant for 42 weeks, this is the type of pregnancy to have... (But don't get any ideas, okay, Baby? We're ready now!)

I'm now planning for a homebirth

2011-07-29T19:53:00.003-05:00

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, in the past couple of weeks every plan for my labor and delivery has changed. Unexpected, but definitely a positive.

Quick hits:

My MD transferred me from her care because her clinic felt my prenatal and delivery care would be better handled by an OB than a family practitioner. This was because I wasn't comfortable submitting to the ultrasounds and non-stress tests they were asking of me (I felt like they were looking for issues that weren't indicated. They felt they needed to check in order to rule them out.)
The OB's care to whom I was eventually transferred did, in fact, seem to be competant and friendly and would have been able to handle my prenatal care. He told me he was made of "tough sauce" and everything I wanted was on the table (he'd give me his opinion but it'd be up to me to choose what to do). But he's only on-call at the hospital every 13 days, so chances weren't good that he'd be the one to deliver my baby (he said 20%). This is one of my main complaints about the OB care in Madison--you spent time developing a relationship with a doctor only to get one of their collegues seeing you in labor and guiding you through your medical needs on that date.
My doula (who is also a midwifery student) told my story (with all its weird diagnosis and provider switchero drama) to her instructor. As it all turns out, this CPM is not only comfortable with primary VBAC attempts such as my own (with the initial c-section performed due to breech presentation) but she was also willing to drive to Madison to attend a homebirth.
And drive here she did, to visit with me. This week we've finished gathering all our homebirth supplies and we're now waiting for Baby to decide to arrive. At home! Uli talks positively about the "big wives" and we're all looking forward to having the newest Propson delivered right here in our own bed. Or the futon. Or the bathroom. Or the living room. Or wherever. But here, at home. With no last minute 9 centimeter car ride to the hospital. No random on-call OB. Just us and our midwives.

Conclusion: I feel great. Excited. Happy. Ready.

Birth Plan

2011-07-19T06:40:00.000-05:00

38 Weeks

As promised, here's my birth plan! Kind of.

For the purposes of this post I'm combining a few separate birth plans. I've written one for my doula (not really represented below) so we could discuss what I anticipate as her role in my labor/delivery and give her insight into my head and what I'm requesting of the doctor and hospital staff. Another version was written specifically for my doctor, to be reviewed prior to the birth so she knows what I'm hoping for and we can discuss any divergence from local hospital policy and get the waivers (going against medical advice) signed if need be. The third (shortest) version is for the hospital nursing staff, whom I will meet for the first time hopefully late in labor, so they have an overview of what I've already discussed with the doctor, and I can share with them how best to assist me in my labor and the short time I'm there postpartum.

So far I've shared these plans with my doula (and made some changes based on her suggestions and experience) as well as my family practitioner (the doctor and nurse versions, anyway). Reviewing them with my doctor was incredibly interesting. We had a great conversation and some points I thought she might question didn't make her blink (such as eating and drinking during labor, which I've since removed from the plan anyway since I'll eat/drink if I want to and won't if I don't but I don't feel like I need it in the plan itself) while other things (like not wearing the fetal monitoring belt continually--assuming no distress was picked-up by intermittent monitoring--and delaying automatic pitocin injection post labor--assuming no hemorrhaging) led to detailed discussions about hospital policy.

(I don't think I've mentioned this yet on my blog, but my provider has since decided she could not provide me the care I hoped for--mostly to do with my refusal to let my delivery plans be decided by the results of fetal weight ultrasounds, not the items on my birth plan--and I, at 37 weeks, have been forced to search for a new prenatal and labor care provider. And found one! But that's a different story for another time.)

So, here you go, a mix of the lengthier plan I've written up for the doc and the shorter plan for the nurses.

My Birth Plan:

I plan on laboring at home for as long as possible, transferring to the hospital only in advanced labor (8-9 centimeters at least).
Justin (husband) and Hannah (doula) will be present with my throughout the labor as my birth partners.

Environment / Pain Relief / Medical Assistance

I will be attempting deep relaxation akin to self-hypnosis. I prefer a quiet environment with dim or natural lighting. Please allow me to focus inwardly during contractions an avoid references to pain.
Alternatively, if I abandon the self-hypnosis/relaxation method, I may decide that to best manage my pain I need to vocalize. If this is the case I anticipate it may get quite loud! (Please allow me my voice.)
I intend to move about during labor as I feel the need. I may avoid the hospital bed entirely, laboring and delivering instead on the couch, floor (I'll bring a "sit-upon" and/or use towels), birthing stool, toilet, and/or shower/tub.
I will wear the clothing I brought--no need for a hospital gown.
My doula and spouse will support me in non-pharmaceutical comfort measures (showers, baths, birth ball, movement, changing positions, etc.)
I am aware of my pain medication options--please do not offer pain meds unless I ask for them. If I do ask, please note whether I am asking in the middle of a contraction and, if so, wait until after the contraction, provide encouragement, and see if I was making a true request (versus just vocalizing).
I am receptive to an initial 20 minute monitoring/strip of the baby's heart rate and regular intermittent doppler checks of the baby and monitoring of my blood pressure thereafter. Please check vitals wherever I am laboring (versus asking me to move to the bed).

I may consider continuous fetal monitoring if a mobile monitoring unit is available that will not restrict my movements.

Please ask my permission before every routine procedure including internal examinations, medication or interventions such as AROM. If it is not an emergency situation I will consider my options and review the alternatives before consenting to routine procedures.
If I am unable to keep swallowed liquids down and it is determined I'm dehydrated I'd appreciate a saline lock placed somewhere that allows me to freely bend my hand so I'm able to move around between IV sessions as needed and crouch on hands/knees for pushing.
I look forward to freedom of movement and the ability to change positions frequently during labor, including going on walks, talking showers/baths, bouncing on the birth ball, slow dancing with Justin, etc. I'd also appreciate suggestions for pushing positions if I need them. It's my understanding that many unmedicated women instinctively move into squats or onto hands/knees when it's time for pushing, but that they're also highly suggestible. Please suggest I stay off my back.

Time to Push!

In the interest of opening my pelvis as wide as possible I intend to totally avoid the lithotomy position; instead I would like to be encouraged to push while seated on the birthing stool, while using the squatting bar or my spouse or doula for support, or in a hands/knees position.
I would like to push instinctively and as gently as possible. Please do not announce a time to push--I want to follow my body's prompts. I'd appreciate support (not stretching!) of the perineum if needed, but it's not required if things are going smoothly without.
I prefer to tear over an episiotomy.
I might like to assist in catching my baby if possible and if I feel comfortable with it in the moment. I would appreciate support and direction at that time.

Afterward

Please allow me to learn my baby's sex on my own.
Please do not cut the umbilical cord until after it stops pulsating.
I plan to hold the baby skin-to-skin immediately after birth.
I am open to vitamin K being administered to the baby once we have had time to snuggle. Please administer this while baby is in my arms and weigh the baby next to me at that time. Please, no other routine post-birth interventions for my infant (including blood draws, eye ointment, Hep B vax, or bath).
I would like to allow my body time to expel the placenta naturally, with no immediate injection of pitocin. At the half-hour mark I would like to discuss with you what other measures (besides continuing to wait) may be possibilities.

I plan to take my placenta home with me--please do not dispose of it.

If baby is a boy: no circumcision.
The majority of my/baby's post birth care (bilirubin and blood sugar watches, weight checks, PKU, etc.) will be completed by a nurse midwife at my home. I will keep my and my baby's hospital visit very short in order to return home soon after the birth so this care can begin.

************

And that's that. Now, whenever a woman discusses her birth plan inevitably someone starts in saying, "But what about if you pass out or change your mind about the drugs or the baby is in distress?" or "You can't plan something like a birth so why write-out anything?" or "This is what the nurses are for, so you don't have to think about these kinds of things." And I mostly understand what they're saying. Generally they mean well. But I nevertheless totally disagree with them.

I think it's essential that you talk about these sort of things, from the mundane and perhaps not even all that direly important to you (I want to wear my own clothes but I'm not going to go all gladiator style on someone if they toss me a hospital gown) to the your preferred method of pain meds (whether you were hoping for an epidural as soon as you crossed into triage or whether you hope to soak yourself in a warm tub for hours to cope) to the big and bad (few to no cervical checks! No AROM! [I've personally decided to leave these firm 'no's off my plan, though I believe I'll refuse checks and artificial rupture of membranes. I'll just keep my legs together and say no at that time if that's how I'm still feeling.])

This is the stuff that a woman can remember and may make/break the memory of her child's birth (one co-worker just mentioned to me that the nurse at her son's birth pulled her hands away from feeling his head at crowning. 18+ years later that still bothers her. It was her baby and her body and she was denied that moment. And it makes me sad that that happened to her and still lingers in her mind.) So when possible I think it's good for these things to be discussed by a woman and her providers (and at least the quick notes written down for the labor attendants). So we all know where we all stand.

And if things change because circumstances change, they do. Hopefully, by that point, we'll have enough knowledge of each other's leanings that no one will be surprised by anyone else's stance or reaction to the changes. Going in with an understanding of the other, essentially. What else can you do when you're facing something as amazing and as unpredictable and as important as the rite of passage of giving birth? Prepare and believe.

Prepare and believe.

Fresh From the Needles

2011-07-15T11:41:00.000-05:00

I've known how to knit since I was... well, since I don't remember when. For a long time. My mother taught me (thanks, Mom!). But I haven't been very adventuresome nor confident enough to dive into patterns until recently (imagine my previous knitting years spent whipping up many many rectangles. cloths. scarves. afghans).

Then I picked-up a Stitch & Bitch knitting book and found its descriptions and illustrations not only a great refresher but so clear that I felt I could and should start working from patterns to expand my knitting experience. I was also very pleased to see that the Stitch & Bitch books give equal ranking to my Continental method (also known as Left-handed knitting or the German method) rather than only focusing on the English method that dominates most other English-language knitting instructionals.

And YouTube has been a wonderful resource; it's so simple to search for and watch videos of the specific techniques I want to see (I used this when turning the heel of my first pair of socks, when I needed to learn the 3-needle bind-off for a pair of fingerless gloves, and when I wanted to learn the Norwegian cast-on [which is awesome and is now my favorite cast-on method, but for which I'd found the written instructions crazy confusing]).

So, knitting is cool. That's what I'm trying to get at.

Here are some of my more recent recent items (baby & child related of course).

Legwarmers for baby legs!

Hats for baby heads!

Vest intended for a newborn but then mistakenly big enough to be for a two year old!

Vest detail

Vest in action

And I'm finishing-up a pair of baby pants (reworked twice so far so they would actually perhaps fit a baby and not a five year old---I don't know what's with my gauge, I knit things SO BIG!) and starting another set of baby legwarmers. And next: I'm going to make a coat cover to wear over the baby when I babywear. If I can manage to find time after the baby comes. Goodness knows it's challenging enough now, with the baby hangin' out quietly in the womb!

Anyone have favorite knitting patterns/sites to recommend? I'm always hoping to be inspired.

She Wants What She Wants

2011-07-11T06:42:00.000-05:00

Uli: I want a papercut!
Me: ????
Uli: I need a papercut right now, please!
Me: ?????
Uli: Now! I want a papercut now!

Justin: She means 'apricot.'
Me: ::grateful for a husband who speaks two year old::

High Risk Evaluations

2011-07-09T14:14:00.004-05:00

I had my consultation with the high risk doctors this week. Let me spoil the ending by shouting loudly from the rooftops:

"They didn't want me! I'm not high risk!"

With that out of my system, I do have some comments on the appointments themselves. (Of course I do. You know me well enough by now, right?)

Appt #1
Provider #1 reads through my sugar level notebook and downloads my glucose meter's chip to verify that the blood sugar numbers I've recorded are accurate (i.e., I haven't "adjusted" any numbers in my favor).

She seems concerned that I won't be able to manage my blood glucose via diet without nutritional counseling. Except that I have been managing. Which is perhaps why she doesn't provide any nutritional counseling during the appointment. (?)

Appt #2
Provider #2 dismisses the blood sugar numbers printed out by Provider #1 because it's in a graph form and his brain doesn't like looking at graphs. He prefers to read summary reports. Since my file doesn't have one we will skip discussion of my blood sugar numbers and he will defer to Provider #1's assessment that my numbers are fine.

He waxes eloquent about what Type 2 Diabetes is and what Gestational Diabetes is (mainly, he explains, for the benefit of the medical student sitting in on our meeting). The lecture begins with the question "You know that your body is made up of small pieces called cells, right?" and ends with a detailed description of the liver and pancreas and what he believes are ideal postprandial numbers.

Once he hears my first baby was born via c-section because of breech presentation he completely drops all concern over my VBAC attempt. Absolutely fine with him. Go for it.

He recommends additional thyroid testing due to concern over my Grave's Disease and how it may affect the baby's thyroid. He says that if the baby's thyroid is having issues they can treat the baby in the womb. I ask for details. He says he will not discuss the treatment until after the testing. I surmise it must be rather intense/worrisome treatment. He will not confirm nor deny and tells me not to concern myself about it--just leave it to the doctors. [I have since talked about this with my family practitioner and have received confirmation that the testing I plan to have for my baby after the birth includes thyroid testing. No need to do any special tests during pregnancy.]

He suggests getting the ultrasounds previously recommended by my family doc to help estimate the baby's size. He says that the ultrasounds are especially helpful to doctors when women fake their good blood glucose numbers--the ultrasounds can help "catch" those mothers in their lies. How flattering. I voice my concerns about the inaccuracy of sonograms and sizing and my worry about being induced for "big baby" when in reality the baby may not be too big at all. He assures me that never ever should any woman ever be induced for suspected big baby based on an ultrasound. He says that sort of thing puts the academic OBs into fits of despair. But he does understand that this sort of thing unfortunately happens in clinical practices, so he will put into my file a note that I am not to be induced due to suspected big baby. I am pleasantly surprised. "No, no, don't worry worry," he assures me. "If we suspect a big baby based on the ultrasound, you will not be induced. We will just automatically [c-]section you. Never an induction and trial of labor." Well, consider me relieved! :p

Both providers were very pleasant, certainly very smart, and neither had anything helpful to say at all, other than I'm not high risk. Best estimate is that I'll be charged a total of at least $600 for the two visits. I used nearly a full day of ETO time and lost 6 hours during which I could have been earning wages. Overall, a totally awesome way to spend a day. I absolutely recommend that every healthy pregnant woman check out their local high risk perinatology clinic, just for kicks and giggles.

Picnic: just the two of us

2011-07-04T17:27:00.000-05:00

36 weeks today. Not much longer and I'll have a baby in my arms.

I don't exactly know how it's going to be, moving from one child to two. The more I think about it the more I'm tempted not to think any further---it's kind of scary/overwhelming.

But for now I have a belly and a two year old and am able to spend time with both, mostly without competition (though the belly does restrict my movements a bit, and Uli does sometimes get too wiggly to comfortably hold).

But picnics? I can do picnics! Eating is something we all thoroughly enjoy.

Front yard picnic! With strawberries!

Almond butter & jelly sandwich

Enjoying the summertime us-time

Strawberry Mint Nettle Raspberry Leaf Tea

2011-06-30T07:48:00.000-05:00

A long, long time ago (I may or may not have been wearing my hair in two buns) I'd posted a recipe on my old blog for strawberry basil tea a la Martha. This past weekend I re-invented the tea using my farmer's market scores. I introduce to you, a pregnant woman's delight:

Strawberry Mint Nettle Raspberry Leaf Tea
[the title needs some work]

Ingredients:
-dried raspberry leaf
-fresh mint leaves
-fresh nettle leaves
-black tea
-strawberries

Bring four cups of water to a boil in a saucepan. Remove from heat source. Add black tea (I used two bags of a Hawaiian blend my in-laws had brought me) and enough raspberry leaves for two cups (I put my loose leaf tea into silver tea thingies); steep for 5 mins. Remove steeped leaves. Add mint and nettle leaves and pour over sliced strawberries. Allow to cool. Refrigerate until chilled.
Pour yourself a glass of refreshing tea (how much/little of the mint, nettle and strawberries to allow into your glass is personal preference. For myself, I just poured all into my glass and used a spoon to eat what I couldn't drink (the mint and nettle leaves were poached and very tasty! And of course strawberries are delicious).

I like making tea! I'm thinking that next I may try homemade chai.

35 Weeks and Happy!

2011-06-27T18:53:00.001-05:00

We're coming right along here at Camp Propson. Baby is busy growing and kicking me in the ribs and Mama is finally in a good mental place after a month of fret and worry about providers and the diagnosis of gestational diabetes.

If you've followed my FB status you're aware that last week I was actually posting about feeling happy (which was a change from my sour and disappointed posts of previous weeks). For one really really exciting 48-hour period I thought I had found a midwife willing to attend an HBAC, but even after it was determined that wouldn't work for us I nevertheless felt great. Discussing my health with a provider who was willing to consider my whole being, beyond the 3 points on my GTT, allowed me to finally relax. My mind feels well-rested. My resolve reinvigorated.

I now know for certain which path I would be choosing for the remainder of my prenatal care: I am confident that to refuse the interventions being unneccessarily required of me (in my current state of health) at my current clinic is the right move. Yes, it likely means being attended by OBs instead of my family practitioner. (I was surprised to hear today, however, that it doesn't automatically mean this. I still may have my family doc!) Yes, it means continuing to refuse the tests for the next month. Yes, it may mean I will have to advocate more fiercely for myself when I arrive at the hospital late in labor and decline the interventions the hospital will want.

But I now feel sure enough of myself to move forward, knowing that this truly is the best choice for me. The best chance I have for a VBAC. The best chance for a healthy, term infant.

And I am happy.

GDM Research Quotes

2011-06-26T09:51:00.002-05:00

I had requested copies of the references my doctor's clinic was using for the gestational diabetes care they were mandating (the high alert, the concern about birth weight, the ultrasounds and the weekly non-stress tests). I am very pleased that my doctor was able to send three papers.

Interesting reading. I feel more settled than ever that my medical situation doesn't warrant the interventions the clinic has required. I thought I'd share some quotes.

from ACOG Practice Bulletin / Gestational Diabetes

"[G]uidelines [within this bulletin] should not be construed as dictating an exclusive course of treatment or procedure. Variations in practice may be warranted based on the needs of the individual patient and resources..." (Thomasin's Note: The ACOG's guidelines have been provided to me as absolutes, not as variable based on my needs as an individual.)

:::::

"Patients should be instructed to follow an unrestricted diet, consuming at least 150 g of carbohydrate per day for at least 3 days prior to the [Glucose Tolerance] test. This should avoid carbohydrate depletion, which could cause spuriously high values on the GTT." (Thomasin's Note: I was not instructed to eat at least 150g of carbs/day in the days prior to my test. So I guess the clinic does adjust its procedure from ACOG's guidelines sometimes... [And unfortunately I don't have a food log of what I ate that week, so I am uncertain whether I met that 150g/day or not.])

:::::

"Ultrasonography has been used to estimate fetal weight, especially to predict macrosomia prior to delivery. However the reliability of these measures has not been established...In addition, the use of ultrasound-derived measure of fetal weight have not been shown to be superior to clinical measures." (Thomasin's Note: Yet the use of ultrasound and its fetal weight estimation would be a determining factor in deciding upon whether labor would be induced or not...)

from The New England Journal of Medicine / Hyperglycemia and Adverse Pregnancy Outcomes

"Caregiver bias (i.e. an expectation of adverse outcomes due to gestational diabetes mellitus) may increase the likelihood of disorders or problems due to increased intervention." (Thomasin's Note: I've bolded this because I find it extremely significant. When someone who assumes there may be a problem goes looking for the problem they're likely to find it, truly there or no. One of the primary reasons I will not be agreeing to the ultrasounds and non-stress tests at this time.)

:::::

"Our study had some limitations. The nutritional status and gestational weight gain of the participants could affect fetal growth and other perinatal outcomes; we do not have data on these variables... [Thus,] we cannot conclude that maternal glycemia is causally related to the adverse outcomes observed; however such a relationship is plausible." (Thomasin's Note: Could this be why my daily nutrition has never been examined this pregnancy? Because they wouldn't know what to do with that information in relation to a GDM diagnosis? Seems weird, right? Also, plausibility isn't strong enough--for me, with my diet being what I know it is, my test results as close as they were, and my excellent daily blood sugar readings--to jump through each and every hoop they are tossing at me.)

from American Family Physician / Diagnosis and Management of Gestational Diabetes Mellitus

"A recent observational study confirmed the association between increased maternal blood glucose and increased birth weight. Further studies are needed to unequivocally support the benefit of universal screening, although most obstetric practices employ this strategy." (Thomasin's Note: Though they cannot absolutely recommend the universal screening, I--due to my age--fall into the recommended category anyway. But readers should be aware that this GDM screening isn't required during prenatal care, not for me and definitely not for others, especially those younger than I am.)

:::::

"Although earlier delivery reduced the risk of macrosomia, it did not reduce rates of brachial plexus injuries, hypoglycemia, or clavicle fractures." (Thomasin's Note: Emphasis mine. So, inducing labor early = smaller babies [no kidding! You're expelling them from the womb before they were finished growing!] but it hasn't been shown to reduce the adverse affects that everyone worries about. Sounds like induction for the sake of a smaller baby isn't really all that good of an idea, especially since it's understood to increase the risk of cesarean...)

(1) Coustan DR, Gestational Diabetes. ACOG Practice Bulletin: Clinical Management Guidelines for Obstetrician-Gynolgologists 2001; 30:1-14
(2) Metzger BE, et al, for the HAPO STudy Cooperative Research Group. Hyperglycemia and adverse pregnancy outcomes. N Engl J Med. 2008; 358 (19): 1991-2002.
(3) Serlin DC, Lash RW. Diagnosis and Management of Gestational Diabetes Mellitus. American Family Physician 2009; 80(1):57-62

Guest Post: In Response to "Anonymous"

2011-06-25T11:29:00.000-05:00

The comment published as a post below came from my recent blog post about gestational diabetes and is so detailed (and says what I would like to say better than I can say it myself) that I decided it deserves full guest post status. It's in response to an anonymous commenter who'd had this to say:

I understand that you have a birth plan and that everything in your mind should go that way. From your first birth I think you should understand that it doesn't always go that way. However, at the end of the day you have to respect that the hospital is just doing their job to make sure your baby and you stay healthy.

And here's the rebuttal:

*****************************************************

I have to disagree with what "Anonymous" said. The actions of doctors and the hospital aren't to keep Thomasin and her child "healthy". The Hippocratic oath may say to "first do no harm" but policies are in place to reduce risk of fatality and abide by AMA guidelines. Risk that ultimately could mean malpractice claims. If patient health was truly the primary concern, then much of the research on medical practices from other countries would be applied in this country but that is not the case.

The word "Health" is greatly misunderstood in our society. Many people say that if they aren't coughing, sneezing or running a fever, that they are healthy. This, however, is not the medical definition of "Health". The World Health Organization defines health as "A dynamic state of complete physical, mental, spiritual and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity." MD's in our society are not following this definition and if they are trying to provide care that lives up to this definition, they fall very short. MD's in our society do very little to help prevent illness. Sure they suggest annual physicals for screenings of various things but that is not prevention. That is "watchful waiting" and the battery of screening procedures only screen for disease or infirmity (something that is less than half of the definition of health), not COMPLETE physical, mental, spiritual and social wellbeing (the majority of the definition of health). How many people have sat down with their primary care physician on several successive occasions when you don't have any symptoms to discuss your mental, spiritual and social well-being?

The reason MD's don't focus on the other aspects of health is that, in many cases, it can't be easily quantified and analyzed. So, MD's focus on disease and infirmity, not health. Our society has sick care, not health care. When you're sick, you go to the doctor, the doctor orders a test and gives you a pill, after the fact. This approach is clearly emphasized in Thomasin's prenatal care. A discussion of proper diet and exercise, to help prevent an unhealthy pregnancy including GD, was never once mentioned. It wasn't mentioned until after the GD diagnosis was made and at that point, the only advice given was to avoid high glycemic index foods. That's it. No more. End of story.

Also, MD's tend to rely heavily on quantitative analysis. They test your blood, urine, hair and skin to look for chemical alterations. This can be good. It provides a great deal of information on the patient's present condition. However, the problem arises when only these test results are used to create a clinical picture of a patient. Every patient comes from a different place and has different contributing factors. I am not saying that a doctor should try to find a normal value for the physiology of every patient (But be aware that people do in fact have minute discrepancies in their normal values for these medical tests and that is why normal values fall in a normal range and are not absolute values and normal values can fall outside the normal range. The normal range is based on one standard deviation unit from the mean value). If MD's truly wanted to create a complete clinical picture, more information has to be considered before making a diagnosis off of a single test. Also more information needs to be considered before prescribing treatment. If you have an ulcer, you have alterations in your levels of stomach acid. So, prescribe a drug to falsely alter the chemical composition of your stomach contents, right? But what of your ulcer is due to stress? Shouldn't your stress, the true cause of the problem, be fixed before the more invasive treatment of altering your physiology? Unfortunately, that is more complicated than prescribing a pill.

Thomasin had a thyroidectomy but there has been no study on the normal blood sugars of pregnant women who underwent thyroidectomies so she is lumped in with normal subjects who can regulate metabolism on their own. Thomasin, however, is now dependent on the MD's to dictate to her what her metabolic rate should be and is dependent on them to make adjustments. Her input on how she feels and functions under those prescribed levels is not considered, even though the normal range is actually rather large.

For those who don't know, the thyroid produces hormones that impact other organs which produce other hormones that play a direct role in blood sugar levels. When concern was expressed to Thomasin's doctor that this might not have been taken into account prior to labeling her with a diagnosis, the doctor admitted that yes, a thyroidectomy would impact blood sugar and her medically regulated levels of thyroxin could have been less than optimum at the time of the glucose testing and that fact alone could have made the difference in her diagnosis but there is currently no study on that subject so it will be completely neglected.

So here is Thomasin, nothing more than the sum of her parts as far as the allopaths are concerned… let me rephrase that, nothing more than the sum of the parts that allopaths can measure. If we were merely the sum of our parts then we would be able to take bits and pieces from here and there and assemble them into a living thing, just like Dr Frankenstein did. However, this is not the case, every living thing is far more than the sum of its parts. It's silly that I should have to make that statement but the allopathic approach is just that. The test results say your low on this chemical, here is a pill that makes those levels normal. Oh, that pill we gave you has a side effect of causing this other chemical to be too high but don't worry, we have a pill for that too.

The problem here is that what is best for most people was put in front of what is best for Thomasin. The bureaucratic approach of procedural correctness at the expense of people's needs… the "do the best you can for most patients instead of the best you can for each patient" has left Thomasin as an unfortunate outlier. Choosing to look out for her own best interests, which the MD's are not doing, does not mean that she should still have respect for their approach to her care. In fact, the doctor stated very clearly that this situation "sucked" as she put it and she would actually like to use a less invasive approach moving forward but if she doesn't follow policy, she would lose her hospital privileges and could lose her job. Now, while it is understandable that someone might not risk their livelihood for a patient, it does not warrant respect. That admission by the doctor stated, in very plain and simple terms, that policy took precedence over the appropriate approach to Thomasin's condition and pre-natal care. Someone who would risk their livelihood for the well-being of a patient and to provide the most appropriate care to a patient, does warrant respect. There are still doctor's in the world that believe in the oath they took with all their heart soul. It's too bad there aren't more of them out there who are willing to stand up for what is best for their patient.

Anyone who would say that the medical community in our society has the health and best interests of patients in mind should probably look a little more closely at some of the policies in place in the medical community and then step back and look at the big picture of the global medical community and not take so much on faith alone (that is dangerous).

If MD's really care about a patient's health first and foremost then why do we have the highest rate of cesarean deliveries (especially elective cesareans) of any country? A method of delivery that carries the most prevalent and severe side effects of any birthing method. Why do we have the highest rate of circumcision of any country? A procedure where risk (albeit relatively minimal) outweighs any health benefits (which are zero). This contradiction goes beyond obstetrics alone. If a patient's health was truly the primary goal over risk of injury, there would be no cosmetic surgery to improve self image. Rather, there would be more emphasis on trying to help that patient be happy with who they are and help them work to better their self image naturally. There would be no prescription of drugs that caused side effects. Instead, there would be more emphasis on wellness programs (diet and exercise) than on medicating an illness.

As someone who holds a doctorate in health care, who has spent countless hours reading medical texts and research from both here and abroad, I can say that just doing your job doesn't warrant respect because just doing your job means just that… following company policy and fulfilling your job description.

Adhering to the oath you took and pushing back on the medical establishment in the best interests of your patients in spite of company policy, is something that deserves respect. Because at the end of the day, the patients are the doctor's patients, not the establishment's patients. If something goes wrong, the establishment isn't held responsible, the doctor who treated the patient is. It is the responsibility of each and every doctor to provide the best care for their patient.

Perhaps the Hippocratic oath in this country should be rephrased to "first follow procedure, then do the lesser of two evils…"

Gestational Diabetes

2011-06-18T04:41:00.002-05:00

Three points. Three points between what seems to be an otherwise healthy and uneventful pregnancy and the mess I'm facing now.

I'm beyond frustrated. Several weeks ago I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. But I think it's bunk (or as my doctor told the diabetes nurse at my clinic who then told me: I'm "having difficulty coming to terms with my diagnosis").

First, I was just surprised I found myself in such a rare category. According to the American Diabetes Association, GD affects just 4% of all pregnant women. And according to the Mayo Clinic white women, "for reasons that aren't clear," [kind of a sketchy quote, I realize] are less likely to develop GD than African American, Latina, Asian, or Native American women.

So, it's a relatively uncommon condition (96% of pregnant women won't have GD). And, if I'm doing my math right (no guarantees), a woman with a Scandinavian heritage such as myself could consider herself as having less than a 4% chance of developing GD.

There are other "risk factors," of course. Obesity is one (I'm a bit plump, but not obese), having high blood pressure (nope, mine's great), being older than 25 (okay, I'll cop to this one), and having high blood sugar (again, nope) all tend to be factors.

Essentially, this came out of left field for me and my mind is still swirling with it all.

And truthfully and sincerely, I'm not certain the diagnosis itself was appropriate. Here's why:

The basic [very general] idea behind GD is that you've begun to have difficulty processing/maintaining healthy levels of glucose/sugar in your blood; these high glucose levels end up making their way to your baby. On this diet of extra sugar, a baby may grow larger than your body was meant to birth (which varies by each and every woman, of course. Many women deliver 11+ lbs fine and dandy). A "too big" baby is at heightened risk of becoming malpositioned during birth (and thus possibly of getting stuck).

But here are my initial issues with my diagnosis:

First~ my blood sugar levels (which I've now been checking 6x daily for going on a month) are all excellent. Every day. Excellent.

Second~ my hemoglobin A1C test (which shows my average sugar levels over the past 6-12 weeks) was fantastic (it was 4.9).

Third~ the reason I've been diagnosed is due to just 3 little points.

I had decided (against my better judgement) to take the 1-hr glucose test when offered (well, not so much offered as told to take it. Because it's routine. And I thought, hey, if it makes them happy, okay). This test doesn't, by itself, diagnose gestational diabetes; instead, it quickly helps identify who may require a second look/test. The morning of the test I took my thyroid meds, waited 30 mins, ate an egg scrambled in whole milk, waited 45 mins, drank the nasty glucose (50 g), and then an hour later had blood drawn. The providers would have considered the results as normal if they were between 70-140. I tested 147.

I wasn't concerned with the test results. I knew I'd fudged a bit with the breakfast thing (I was supposed to wait 60 mins after eating to take the glucose, but was running out of time that AM. And I didn't eat a well balanced meal.) But my doctor was concerned. When I refused to take a 1/2 day of work to do the 3-hr follow-up diagnostic test she "called in some favors" to schedule me with a weekend clinic. A clinic, I should add, for which testing would be out of pocket for me. ::sigh:: I checked on the cost of the test. It'd cost less than taking 1/2 day off of work, so I decided to just do it and hopefully calm my doctor's fears.

The morning of the 3-hr test I was careful to show up having totally fasted since the night before. Hungry and thirsty, they started the poking. Eventually they found a vein. (Over the course of the morning I was poked 8 times for the 4 required draws. Super nice.) With my fasting blood drawn, I drank a higher concentrate of glucose than I'd ever eat in corresponding food stuffs in real life (100g) and then sat around and waited. Had my blood drawn, waited, had my blood drawn, waited, etc.

The results:

   Fasting--79 (normal)
   1 hour--170 (normal)
   2 hour--157 (abnormal. They wanted between 70-154)
   3 hour--147 (abnormal. They wanted between 70-140).

For a diagnosis of GD the 3-hour test requires two abnormal/high readings. One abnormal reading is considered within normal parameters. So let's toss that final draw out (why the last one? Because why not.). Now let's take a peek at the other abnormal number, taken two hours after I'd ingested that ungodly high amount of glucose. My body took care of it except for 3 points. 3 points too high.

Three points. Not all that alarming. Why isn't it alarming? Because your body processes glucose at different rates throughout the day depending on what the heck it is you're doing. If you're walking or exercising or stretching it draws more glucose from the blood to feed your muscles than if you're sitting around on your rump reading. And what was I doing in the waiting room at the lab? I was waiting. On my rump. Reading. I wasn't even stretching my arms or walking to the bathroom. Just sitting. Statuesque. After the results came back I asked the doctor whether that third draw could have been lower by three points or more if I'd only walked around the lobby a little bit. She admitted that it very well may have been lower if I'd stretched my legs, yes. But then she said that that was irrelevant. Because I hadn't stretched my legs. And thus the test shows what it shows and that's that. Per her clinic's practice I have GD. End of discussion.

Except that it's not the end. Suddenly there's so much more to talk about and decide!

What does a diagnosis like this mean? First off, it means that I've been asked to "manage" my blood sugar levels. A woman with GD is supposed to keep her fasting numbers between late 70s-early 80s and her post-meal numbers are supposed to be <120 two hours after a meal. That's compared to the <140 that non-diabetic mothers should maintain as their normal. Why the difference between normal population and a woman with GD? My doctor said that it's because the normal population are trying to stay healthy for 20 years in the future. That's vs. a woman with GD who is growing a baby right now, and thus any higher blood sugar could directly impact the fetus today.

Okay. Fine. Stricter rules for a mother with GD. Except... what if I hadn't been diagnosed with GD? If that second glucose test's third draw had been 3 points lower because I'd dropped my book on the floor and had had to bend down and pick it up? Well then, in that case, the normal non-diabetic numbers would be just find and dandy for me during my pregnancy. A blood sugar level up to 140 after two hours of a meal wouldn't hurt the baby at all if only I hadn't been diagnosed with GD.

Uh-huh.

But whatever. So I'm supposed to keep my blood sugar super low. Lower than normal. Okay. So I start to use the glucose meter 6x a day (fasting/pre-breakfast, post-breakfast, pre-lunch, post-lunch, pre-dinner, post-dinner). And what do my numbers show? Fasting and pre-meal numbers in the 70s and low 80s. 2 hour post-meal numbers <120. Interesting... So there's nothing to worry about, right? My numbers are sublime?

Wrong. Worry! Worry!

I've been instructed that I must now have weekly (weekly!) "non-stress" tests at the hospital to ensure the baby is doing well. I'm also supposed to go in for several ultrasounds to try and gage the baby's weight (though, as the doctor admits, ultrasounds can be off by 1 lb or more...) and if I'm found to be growing a baby over the 75th percentile in weight (anticipated to be about 8 lbs at term) I will be pressured to induce labor early. If I require medication to maintain my blood sugar levels they'd induce at 38 weeks but if I'm able to maintain without medication they'll "allow" me to go till 40 weeks. And, at the shocked look on my face, my doctor said that she'd even consider allowing me to go to 41 weeks.

Non-stress tests. Ultrasounds. Scheduled induction. If I refuse the interventions, refuse even one of them? Then I'll be transferred to High Risk OB/perinatology at the hospital and be required to have the remainder of my prenatal care and my delivery with them.

I don't want a surgeon at my birth. I don't want to spend my time and money (and lose my earned time off at work, which is perilously low as it is) to go in for weekly "non-stress" tests (not stressful for the baby, perhaps! But what about the mama?!) in addition to my normal prenatal appointments. I don't want to give ultrasounds (which are perhaps their best imaging tool but nevertheless sorely lacking when it comes to deciding whether a baby is "too big" for a woman to birth) the power between "allowing" me to continue to nurture my baby in the womb or being "required" to evict it early.

I am not a happy camper. And I have some decisions to make. Quickly.

Chaos and Despair

2011-06-14T20:01:00.000-05:00

(Warning. This is a whiny post full of self-pity. Just so you know up front.)

I live in chaos. Or at least I feel like I do.

I'm overwhelmed and cannot begin to stand up under this weight. Haven't been able to in four years.

Here, you decide if this is chaos:

My bedroom

For the most part I try and ignore it because I don't feel like I can do anything about it and there's nothing worse than feeling like you can't fix the problems you're staring at. The dog hair. The bazillions of plastic cups. The toys from McDonald's Happy Meals. The textbooks. The craft supplies. The pieces of paper that hold information I'd meant to blog about but can't ever find time/energy to actually craft into a post. The poisonous bug sprays I want to throw out. The candles. The twine. Even my clothes---they're just... everywhere. Out in the open. Without belonging or fitting anywhere.

Also my bedroom

Yes, I have a vacuum. You'd think the dog hair problem wouldn't be insurmountable. But the vacuum gets plugged and runs out of batteries. The biggest problem, though, is that in order to vacuum you need to have the floor picked up. And in order to pick-up you should put stuff away (not just shove it into tubs/closets/bags randomly). And in order to know where things should belong you should know what you actually have so you can label a specific space for them. But in order to know what you have, you need to pull everything out and down and look it over. And you need to be prepared to toss out the stuff that you don't need (the broken stuff. the stupid stuff. the old, unused stuff. the stuff you hate) and only keep what you actually want and will use.

My daughter's bedroom

And if you don't feel like you can make those decisions at the moment (to rearrange or toss stuff)? Well, you do what I do. You ignore the space in which you live. Pretend it 's not there. That all is well. That nothing's wrong. You ignore your surroundings until awareness comes streaking at you through momentarily unveiled eyes. And then the naked ugly truth makes you despair. And you cry. And then, because you can't spend your life crying, you bottle it up, push it all back, and keep on going. You pretend that it doesn't bother you to live amidst chaos. And that works for a few days and then you despair and cry again and then bottle it back up once more. Rinse and repeat.

And sometimes you write blathering blog posts about how you cannot seem to find the gumption to organize your own damn house. Because it doesn't really feel like your house, your stuff. (I suppose because you are constantly trying to ignore that it exists?)

Please tell me that Clean House or some other such reality TV show from TLC will come rescue me? I'd even settle for a really thorough burglary (just please take the Happy Meal toys too, Mr. Burglar!).

::sigh:

Sprouts

2011-05-10T07:00:00.001-05:00

Sprouty sprouting sprouts!

So, here's the thing, sprouts are on the Warning, warning, do not eat! list that a pregnant women is handed as soon as her belly starts to round out. (And with some validity. Mass-produced sprouts are a common harborer of gnarly bacteria). But I love sprouts. I've diligently avoided those from the salad bars, but after re-reading Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle this past month (in which homegrown sprouts are mentioned) I realized that I need not deny myself any longer. I can sprout my own sprouts safely at home.

A quick visit to Jung's and I had a giant packet of sprout-able seeds (1/2 lb, which seems a scant 2 cups. At 1 Tbs per sprouting session, that's sure to last me until infinity and beyond). I bought a seed mix that includes alfalfa, broccoli, chinese cabbage, mung bean, and radish seeds. Mmmm.

The recipe for home-sprouted seeds is relatively simple: put seeds in a jar, soak them overnight, drain, rinse 2-4 times a day for 3-4 days, eat when sprouted. But the Jung's packet had a scary notice on it:

[We] do not guarantee that the seed is free of seed-borne organisms. The customer take full responsibility for the disinfecting and sprouting of this seed. If this is not satisfactory, the see may be returned for a refund.

Their preferred method of disinfection? Bleach. Cover the seeds in a solution of one part bleach to nine parts water, soak for ten minutes, rinse, and then soak overnight.

Now, if you know me, I'm not a bleach person. I'm a vinegar person. I'm a tea tree oil person. A boiling water/steam-cleaner person. But bleach? Yuck. And on food? Yuck times twenty-two. But...

Seed-borne organisms.

Customer takes full responsibility.

Warning, warning, do not eat!

It all seems so... serious. They're sprouts. Nevertheless...

I did it. I used the bleach soak. I felt seed-pack-pressured into it. And so far, I'm still alive and unscathed. But whether I overcame the dangerous seed-borne organisms or survived the bleach I haven't yet decided.

Soaking in bleach water, Die evil seed-coating organisms, die!

Rinsed & ready for the sprouting jar

24 hours and not much going on...

Third day---sprouts!

Uli (and Jerry) helping me de-hull the sprouts.
Uli needed her own bowl, obvs.

De-hulled and ready for draining and, most importantly, eating!

Third Trimester, Here We Go!

2011-05-03T17:58:00.003-05:00

Week twenty-seven and just look at my belly! (It looks huge! When did that happen?)

This tri I've got to get down to business and get things knocked up off my list:

Birth plans (a super detailed one for my doula, a less-labor-focused one for my doctor, and an abbreviated version for the busy nursing staff)
Steep & drink red raspberry leaf tea
Get serious about squatting!
Help Justin plan/build a birth stool somewhat like this one or like this one (unless I can confirm that the hospital will provide one. Which I don't think they do)
Clean/organize the entire house (no more piles of stupid paper and plastic crap we don't need!)
Find/wash the newborn/infant clothes
Plan, make, and freeze dishes for once the baby is born (I've got some time on this one...)
Knit a wool diaper cover
Finish the other two knitting projects I've got in progress right now
Plant this year's vegetable garden (no time like late spring--ack!)

And I think that's it. No sweat right? ;-)

Creating the Life I Want

2011-04-22T11:40:00.001-05:00

I love my life, but it needs simplification. There's so much "stuff" going on. I wish there were an Independent Director of Simplification I could hire to help me get hold of everything.

Wild/random thoughts aside, how am I going to start living the life I want to live? I know, I know. It's going to mean rolling up my sleeves and just doing it. It's that right sleeve that always seems to give me trouble...

So let me see. To get what I want I should think about what it is I'm looking for. What do I really want?

More celebrations.
Celebrations at my house. I've never been one to coordinate get-togethers or holiday meals. I forget they're coming up (eh-hem... Easter? Oh, it's this weekend? Oh.) and then it's too late for me to gather my supplies and thoughts to do what I want (there were some lovely ideas at Lusa's Clean blog this month. I so aspire to create baskets like those!) And I don't want to do just the typical American major holiday celebrations, either. I want to have a family tradition for days like today (Earth Day), spring equinox, and summer solstice and the like. Things with "earthy" roots and which had traditionally been celebrated in the past by peoples long ago. Celebrations would include food, family, crafts (with heart. with purpose), and probably music. I miss music.

Create more art.
I was paging through a local magazine yesterday and read an article about a fiber artist here in Madison. A new mother. And her work was beautiful. Inspiring. I need to something myself. It's been far too long since I've been able to let my creativity really flow. It's the old story: I'm so busy... :p (Also, as far as music goes, I don't have a piano. And I really wish I did. Not a keyboard, a piano. I turned down a free one a few years ago because I couldn't move it to my apartment. Now I wish I'd just hired professional movers! Hindsight.)

Read more books.
Books of quality. This was a new year's resolution of mine in 2010 and overall I'm pleased with my direction (my book club has helped!). But I still need more. Work that will challenge me, and inspire my own writing. More classics. More modern poets. Less Facebook.

More home cooking.
My handsome husband has been on cooking duty for this past year and has done a fabulous job, day in and day out. But I feel like I'm missing something, not cooking much myself. And my cookbook blogging self-challenge is suffering too! I want to feel that satisfaction of finding the perfect local ingredient at the farmer's market. I want to rediscover long-lost recipes hidden in fifty year old tomes. I want to relish a meal I made with my own hands and heart.

I want to get to know my neighbors.
We're feet away from each other, for goodness' sake. I know many of their names, but we don't really say anything to each other. And that family down the street, the one with the three little girls? They play the fiddle on their porch, burn wood in their furnace, and grow a big vegetable garden--how fun do they seem?! I want us to be friends!

I want to try something new every day.
A new type of stitch. A new food. A new route home. A new vocab word. Something.

Is this my second trimester energy kicking in? Am I nesting? Am I freaking? I don't know. But I do know I don't want to fall into complacency. I don't want to drown in sameness. I don't want to lose myself in the rat race. And these are my thoughts.

Any personal experience with The Simple Life? Advice for me and my family? I'd love to hear!

Pregnancy Pics, Weeks 23 and 25

2011-04-19T08:08:00.003-05:00

I haven't been very diligent about taking a weekly photo. (I'd dreams of making a cute week-by-week video, ending with baby in arms. Clearly, I'm too lazy and it's not gonna happen.) But I have a few pics here so I might as well share 'em, speckled mirror and all.

Week 23

Week 23 is when the books say the baby's middle ear is beginning to harden, lanugo covers the baby's body, and everything is starting to look proportionate.

And yesterday, Week 25

This week in fetal development blood vessels are forming in the baby's lungs, and his/her nose is beginning to be unplugged. The books are beginning to warn the mama about hemorrhoids and an itchy belly (ah, the good stuff is on its way!).

I do think my belly has started to grow a lot these past few weeks. Apparently between weeks 23 and 26 the baby doubles in size (from one lbs to two)---that's a big change! I'm feeling good, though getting a little more tired. And back-achy. More aches than I remember from last time, in fact. But I'm older this pregnancy (an aged 34) so perhaps that's to be expected. ;-)

How to be a Good Post-partum Hostess

2011-04-14T12:28:00.000-05:00

There's been a buzz about There Are No Ordinary Moment's recent post about how to be a thoughtful visitor to a new mother. And I really enjoyed Dou-la-la's take on the advice given. But I know that not every post partum visitor who should read those posts will (or, even if they do, they won't necessarily take the advice), so keeping that in mind and thinking of my sister who just had a baby girl last week, I thought I might write a bit about what a new parent might want to know about being a hostess in those first weeks after birthing a little one. Essentially, how to be a self-advocate post partum. Here are my thoughts:

Make your bathrobe your new visitors-are-coming uniform. I'd also say don't bother with your hair or makeup, and embrace those first few weeks of post partum life in pajamas or sweats, but even if you're someone who just doesn't feel right w/out her hair done and her 'real' clothes on, at the very least toss that bathrobe over whatever it is you're wearing. Why? Because it reminds people that you've just had a baby. That you're tired, sleep deprived, trying to nurse, trying to rest, trying to heal, possibly overwhelmed, and that you are busy resting and caring for your baby, not throwing together an improptu luncheon.

I think it's very common, with a new baby in the room, for all the focus to go on the little one. But hey, the new mama needs some consideration too! Especially since it can be rather jarring, going from being the center of attention while pregnant to suddenly feeling left out in the cold while visitors circle around and coo at the baby. Keeping your robe on might help jog visitor's memories and remind them that that, Oh, hey, this women just pushed out this baby and deserves some attention herself.

This one is for those mother's working on establishing a new nursing relationship: Be topless. Yes, wear your robe, but skip the shirt underneath if you want. Hold that baby skin to skin, let them suckle throughout the visit, and, again, try and relax. Will this make your Uncle Ralph uncomfortable? Perhaps. But the relations 'll get used to it soon enough (breastfeeding should never be embarassing---it's totally normal! Our societal view on feeding infants is so skewed. Time to take it back!) and it'll make for shorter visits of unhelpul visitors in the meantime.

In tandem with the tip above: Don't feel obliged to let anyone else hold the baby. Now, that might sound extreme. But sometimes, especially when you're still trying to establish a nursing relationship, having someone else hold and comfort your fussing infant when you know you could be comfort-nursing your baby is very frustrating to a new mama. Let visitors look, let them talk about the baby's eyes and fingers and adorable little feet, but don't feel like they must be allowed a turn at holding your baby if you're working on nursing/bonding. Might they feel let down? Sure. But be firm and honest. Tell your visitor that as soon as you've got your nursing relationship well established they'll be ever so welcome to hold the little peanut all they want. And then relax. This is your baby. There will be plenty of time in the next few months for others to hold him/her. Enjoy this new relationship.

Alternatively, you might need a quick break from all the baby-wrangling. If so, when you hand the baby to your visitor, Use that time to do something you'd wanted to do but couldn't with a babe in hand. Don't feel like you have to entertain your visitors--they're holding your sweetie pie, they're in heaven. Instead, tell them you're grateful for the extra pair of arms, and then take a quick shower, go upstairs and paint your toes, or make yourself a cup of tea and enjoy a moment of alone time.

If your guest asks whether they can help , say yes. Then figure out something they can do. Each guest who offers can do one small thing, and all added together it can make a big difference. Ask them to wash/slice some apples and carrots for your afternoon snack. Maybe they will attempt to brush your toddler's hair for you. Let them know there's a load of whites in the basket upstairs that are ready to be carried down to the washing machine. If there's a load of towels to be folded, point it out and ask them to pitch in. Don't feel guilty---this is not a normal visit to your house where you're expected cater to them, this is a post partum visit. They should cater to you. Your guests, if they offer to help, really mean it. Let them help you.

****************************

And those are my initial ideas. After my c-section, I hardly crept from my bed those first few weeks, and was eternally grateful for all the help my parents, inlaws, sister, and friends provided. They were very understanding about my need to hold my daughter (we had such trouble, breastfeeding) and I may feel differently (more negatively) about my recovery from surgery if I hadn't had their support. This next time I hope to avoid the OR all together, but I'm still planning on have a low-key, quiet post partum period. And I know they'll support me again as I need. It's my wish that every woman could be so lucky!

Tell me what you think of my ideas. Are they something that would work for you? Do you have other thoughts? I'd love to hear 'em.

Morning Meditations

2011-04-10T07:24:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting down to my newest rediscovered-from-childhood favorite beverage: a steaming hot cup of milk and molasses. Not quite the same as a cup of coffee, but definitely better for me whilst pregnant, and somehow much more satisfying than any cup of coffee could ever be (I'm a poser coffee drinker anyway, who drinks the bean juice more for the sugary creamer than the coffee itself. Mmmmm, creamer).

Skeptical? Try it yourself and just taste the delicious, iron- and calcium-rich goodness:

Microwave a cold mug of milk for about a minute (in my oven it takes a minute, 23 seconds).
Add one to two teaspoons of blackstrap molasses (might want to start with the lesser amount if molasses is new to you. My daughter and I love it, but I hear it's shockingly strong to some new initiates).
Stir.
Enjoy.

As you're sipping from this morning's drink of choice, click on over to The Marketing Mama and read Saturday's guest post, written by my friend Carmen. Absolutely inspiring, and a great way to start your day--to be reminded of the small things we so often take for granted that are really part of this big, amazingly blessed thing we call our lives.

April is National Poetry Month

2011-04-04T07:15:00.000-05:00

What shall we do about poor little Tigger?
If he never eats nothing he'll never get bigger.
He doesn't like honey and haycorns and thistles
Because of the taste and because of the bristles.
And all the good things which an animal likes
Have the wrong sort of swallow or too many spikes.

"He's quite big enough anyhow," said Piglet.
"He isn't really very big."
"Well, he seems so."

Pooh was thoughtful when he heard this, and then he murmured to himself:

But whatever his weight in pounds, shillings, and ounces,
He always seems bigger because of his bounces.

"And that's the whole poem," he said. "Do you like it, Piglet?"
"All except the shillings," said Piglet. "I don't think they ought to be there."
"They wanted to come in after the pounds," explained Pooh, "so I let them. It is the best way to write poetry, letting things come."
"Oh, I didn't know," said Piglet.

~from The House at Pooh Corner by A.A. Milne

Happy Poetry Month!

How am I celebrating? I've decided to join-in on the fun over at Poetic Asides and write a poem a day this month (thank you, Lauren, for reminding me of the challenge!). I've decided it's just the ticket for the creative funk I've been in---a daily prompt to spur ideas and I need only share my top 5 once the month is finished (with no actual requirement that I share anything. But the idea is to share your top five and be considered for recognition.)

Writing a poem-a-day just not your thing? You can still celebrate national poetry month! Check out www.poets.org and their list of 30 Ways to Celebrate.

May the poetry be with you.

What a Sorry Little Post

2011-04-01T11:45:00.000-05:00

So I'm sitting here during my lunch break, eating a bean burrito (protein!), drinking water (replentish those fluids!), reading blogs (maybe yours!), catching-up on Facebook (thank you, social media, for sucking so much of my time in an interesting and potentially totally useless way!), and thinking about what to blog about.

It should be easy to come up with something. I'm nearly 23 weeks pregnant. I have a 2 year old. I have 2 dogs and 5 cats. I have a house with a yard. I have a kitchen. I've read some books lately. I've been knitting. I've been making lists of what I want to do before the baby is born, and what I want to do after the baby is born. I've started excersizing (kind of). ::sigh:: I cannot spell exercize w/out spell-check. (Exersice? No, don't even tell me.) It's April but it's snowing.

Yup, a full life. But I don't have any pictures to share (since I'm on my work computer) and cannot think of a single thing to blog about picture-less. One of those days. So instead you get this. Sorry, folks.

(Maybe my brain blood is all in my uterus?)

Whatcha Readin'? Wednesday: Anna in Charge

2011-03-23T11:54:00.003-05:00

Uli's new favorite nap- and night-time read is currently

Anna in Charge

by Yoriko Tsutsui

Illustrated by Akiko Hayashi

My thoughts:

(1) In the beginning I couldn't read Anna in Charge without first impulsively singing the chorus to Charles in Charge (with Anna substituted for Charles). Now Uli has come to demand the song as an essential beginning to the book's text. So I've been singing ~~Charles~~ Anna in Charge every day for the past several weeks. (If only Scot Baio knew how often I think of him!)

(2) I can't decide whether the book's story is pro-Free-Range Kids (which I am) or the perfect worry-wort's example of what happens if you are "foolish" enough to allow your kiddos some freedom.

Synopsis:
Little Anna (from the illustrations she appears about 5-6 years old) is left playing alone in front of her house while her mother runs to the bank. Her younger sister (whom I'd guess to be about 3 years old) is inside napping. Katy wakes up and Anna calms her crying by helping her get her shoes on and brings her outside with her. They start to play a game together but Anna focuses on the game and Katy runs off. Anna searches the neighborhood for Katy, eventually finding her at the park, safe and sound.

In a way, the story shows exactly what a 5 year old can be capable of: problem solving (Where would Katy go? The park! How do you get there? I remember the way!) as well as understanding the seriousness of the situation (when she hears screeching tires on the main street, she worries that Katy may have been hit by a car and run to investigate, her heart thumping with fear). In fact, it also shows that a 3 year old can be capable too (I want to go to the park. I remember how to get there!). And it isn't alarmist, rather, it manages to tell the story without implying there's a potential kidnapper/murderer on every street corner.

In another way, it gives a relatively good example of why a 5 year old isn't an ideal babysitter: Anna became so involved in drawing the train tracks for Katy to play on that she forgot to watch her little sister. (Truthfully, however, surely the 5 years olds of this world aren't the only ones to have their thoughts on something of interest while the little one in their care gets up to something. I can think of several times when I've been on the computer and suddenly there's toilet paper strung around the living room or I hear a shriek because the cat finally fought back...)

Whatever I think (or sing), Uli loves this book. Perhaps it's the toddler version of The Boxcar Children (they can make it on their own!). And I love to hear her "read" the book's title (A-N-N-A 1[one]-N C-H-A-R-G-E) and pronounce the author's and illustrator's names (which she always does, though her pronounciation is only as good as my example. Man, now is the time for her to be learning a second languge. Mind like a steel trap! )

Supplements During Pregnancy

2011-03-21T09:00:00.002-05:00

I don't want to make it sound like my plans for health are based on a pill. Good food trumps supplements every time. Nevertheless, I spend less time cooking whole foods than I should (tell me I'm not the only one!). And the more I read* the more I realize that my diet, while perhaps better than the typical SAD** isn't what I'd like it to be. And so I take vitamins. Especially now, when I'm growing a baby.

Prenatal vitamin
I use Rainbow Light Prenatal One Multivitamins. Recommended for pregnant and lactating mothers, it contains not only the 'usual' goodness most prenatals include, but also has ginger (perhaps the reason I've never had nausea after taking these?) and red raspberry leaf (widely used for toning the uterus) and they're conveniently available over-the-counter (I've found them at my health food store but also at Babies R Us).

Vitamin D
My vitamin D levels were low when tested last year. As in Goodness, you practically have rickets! low. I had one doctor tell me I should take 1,000 IUs each day for the next year and get retested. A second opinion scoffed at that number and demanded I take 10,000 IUs. Ten thousand international units of a fat-soluable vitamin is far higher than most doctors will recommend, so while I did take that initially, when I became pregnant I double-checked the dose with the doctor providing my prenatal care. Without the batting of an eye I was told that 10,000 was fine, but if I wanted to save money on vitamins I could cut the dose in half. So I did.

Cranberry & Garlic

I've struggled with UTIs for years. Miserable. It wasn't until my first pregnancy when my midwives suggested starting a regimen of cranberry and garlic supplementation that I saw a dramatic reduction in infections. In fact, the few UTIs I've had since I started taking cranberry and garlic had been when I've run out of the supplements for a few weeks. Lo and behold, I'd get a UTI! So I'm trying to be good and keep up with the supplements.

Would unsweetened cranberry juice and raw cloves of garlic work? Yes. But to regularly drink that much quality juice is more expensive than I can manage, and while I love raw garlic and do eat it, sometimes you want a day without feeling like vampires (and your co-workers) are avoiding you.

Cod Liver Oil

Good ol' Mary Poppins-reminicent cod liver oil, modernized. The new oils are flavored (the Nordic Naturals brand I'm currently taking tastes mildly of orange. We once had a brand that tasted exactly, deliciously, dangerously like lemon merengue. Mmmmm.) and are rigorously tested for contaminants.

Dried Plums

So, yes. Technically, this is an actual real food, not a supplement, but I take a few daily so I consider them part of my pregnancy supplementation plan. Dried plums (or as we all grew up calling them, prunes. Can't fool me, California ~~Prun~~e Dried Plum Board!) are yummy and keep the hemorrhoids at bay. (That's right, I said it. Didn't have a single problem last pregnancy [no plastic donut seat for me] nor do I intend to have any this time around.) And they are sincerely tasty.

********

And that's that. I'll probably add a regular mug of red raspberry leaf tea in my third trimester, but that is still weeks from now. I've also got plans to add more fermented foods to my diet, which would be a supplement in the same way the dried plums are supplements--food vs. pill--but would still be eaten for a specific purpose. I feel good and, with an extra focus on my diet, am convinced it'll help me give me and my baby the best opportunity to be healthy and well this pregnancy.

What are you taking (or have you taken) as pregnancy supplements? How do you feel about supplementing during pregnancy (vs. relying on a diet of whole foods)?

* Recommended reads: Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon and The Vegetarian Mother & Baby Book by Rose Elliot.

**Standard American Diet info from Dr. Sears

Mama's Mini-Makeover

2011-03-15T11:58:00.000-05:00

Nothing like the second trimester. Suddenly I have some energy back and am feeling the baby move, but I'm also noticing all my regular shirts are too short and that I've grown out of all my pants. I'm also reacting to other people's pregnancies in strange ways, like when Rebecca over at Girl's Gone Child announced she was pregnantwith twins and I thought, Gee, I sure wish I were pregnant with twins.

(Don't worry Honey, there's just one in there this time!)

So to shake it up, what else could I do but pull on the maternity tops, get out the ol' belly band and, barring any better ideas, chop off my hair.

Before

(A ponytail/bun. Like always)

After

(A little sassy!)

I'm happy with the change.

Anyone have any other mid-pregnancy pick-me-ups? I'm enjoying my rounding belly, but am feeling more like Blah than Glowing. (Keep in mind that any ideas must be free or nearly so. I blew my budget with the haircut!)

Preparing for a Hospital VBAC: My Top 10

2011-03-08T06:20:00.009-06:00

Welcome to the March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Natural Parenting Top 10 Lists

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared Top 10 lists on a wide variety of aspects of attachment parenting and natural living. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

I'd planned a homebirth for my first baby. As sometimes happens, things didn't go to plan. The baby turned breech late in pregnancy, and I ended-up delivering via cesarean.

Now I'm pregnant again, and this darn scar on my uterus has meant I'm planning my next delivery at the hospital with an MD in attendance. But I'm trying once again for an unmedicated, instinctual birth.

I cannot say that this is the way to prepare for a hospital VBAC, but it's how I'm preparing for it.

My first choice was to find a midwife to attend my birth, but when I was unable to find a homebirth midwife who was both available around my EDD and who was comfortable attending a primary HBAC (homebirth after cesarean), I turned to MDs. I interviewed several doctors and finally chose a Family Practioner rather than an Obstetrician. I've learned that Family Practice docs (who don't themselves perform surgeries) tend to have fewer patients who "need" cesareans than those who see an OB as their labor attendant. It's not a guarantee, but after several interviews I did find an MD I'm happy with and who seems truly supportive of VBACs and unmedicated labors.
I've hired a doula to assist me during labor and for any immediate post-birthing breastfeeding guidance I may require. (If you're not familiar with why hiring a doula would be on my list of "Top 10" you can click here to see DONA International's list of how doulas make a positive difference in births, including the reduced use of pain medications, less need for tools like forceps and vacuum extractors, and mothers feeling more positive about their births.
I'm researching the best pushing positions that may help reduce pain, allow my pelvis to open, and help me to avoid tearing.
I'm practicing my squats.
I'm reviewing my workbook and notes from the Bradley Method natural childbirth class I took during my first pregnancy. (I cannot say enough positive things about that class!)
I'm reading and re-reading books about natural childbirth. My favorites are Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth, Birthing from Within by Pam England and Rob Horowitz, and Henci Goer's The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth.
I'm preparing* a birth plan that will describe my labor wishes to the L&D nurses while keeping in mind the environment in which I'll be birthing. (As my doula told me, "You'll be walking in there with a doula and a Family Practitioner and a birth plan---believe me, they'll know what kind of a woman you are!")
I'm trying to focus on eating well to avoid diet-related complications (toxemia/pre-eclampsia) that would affect my and my baby's health and thus the delivery itself (see the Brewer's Diet for a description of a healthy pregnancy diet and click here for checklists with omni, lacto/ovo and vegan variations).
~~I'm exercising regularly~~ I'm planning to exercise. This is by far the preparation I've been least successful with, even though I know how important it is to both my baby's health and my stamina during labor. But wintertime in Wisconsin is not an ideal time to go strolling about the neighborhood for a brisk walk, and I was so tired during the 1st trimester I had a difficult time staying up past 7pm much less exercising. However, now in my 2nd trimester I'm starting to get my energy back and have dug out my prenatal yoga tapes and can see a hint of Spring (and the return of evening strolls) around the corner. I will exercise!
Finally, I'm keeping a positive outlook. There's every reason to believe that all will go well. After all, I'm mentally and physically preparing myself and will have emotional support both during and after labor. I will have a VBAC, I just know it!

*I'll be sharing once it's done. For now it's still a work in progress.

***

Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

Attachment Parenting in the NICU — Erica at ChildOrganics shares some strategies to help you parent naturally in some unnatural circumstances.
10 Reasons to Choose Baby Led Weaning — Luschka from Diary of a First Child shares ten reasons to choose Baby Led Weaning when it comes to solids.
Choosing to Breastfeed — From selfishness to self-giving, CatholicMommy at Working to be Worthy lists reasons why breast is best for her and her family.
Ten Things I Wish I Knew About Before Little Man — In this reflective post, The ArstyMama discusses ten things she wishes she knew more about before the birth of her son, Little Man.
10 Things That Helped Me Become a Natural Mama — The Accidental Natural Mama counts down ten things that helped her find her moderately crunchy inner mama self.
Top 10 Reasons to Breastfeed Your Toddler — Extended breast-feeder Kate Wicker of Momopoly makes her own top 10 list for why she loves nursing her 2-year-old.
Top 10 Tips on Authentic Grandparenting — Mamapoekie of Authentic Parenting offers a list of tips to make the grandparent-parent-child relationship flow smoothly.
Top Ten "Dad" Things — Liam at In The Now talks about his favourite ways to spend time with his children.
Top 10 Natural Strategies for Conception (aka How to Get Pregnant!) — Despite facing plenty of health issues, Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama found her way to two first-try pregnancies thanks to these natural strategies.
Top Ten Reasons Why Home Birth Rocks — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud shares her passion for birthing at home - the natural place for natural birth.
Top 10 reasons why cloth nappies are fun — Tat at Cloth Nappies Are Fun shows how using cloth nappies can brighten up your day.
Top Ten Ways to Be Present With Family — Amy at Innate Wholeness shares how to make the most of parenting and family life through being present.
Top 10 Things In My Arsenal of Kitchen Witchy Mama Tricks. — Joni Rae at Tales of A Kitchen Witch shares with us the simple things she would never want to be missing from her cupboards.
Top 10 ways I'm not very good at natural parenting (and why I keep trying anyway) — Jenny at Babyfingers shares the ways she is imperfect as a natural parent, and why she embraces natural parenting anyway.
Top 10 Ways to Know You Are a Natural Parent — So what makes us "natural parents," anyway? A lighthearted look at the Top 10 Ways to Know You Are a Natural Parent by the editors and readers of Natural Parents Network.
The Top 10 Things Every Natural Household (with children) Should Have — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro shares a list of the most common natural products and remedies she uses for health and cleaning.
Top 10 books for raising loving, spiritual children — In her 'food for the soul' post, Mrs Green from Little Green Blog shares her favourite spiritual books. No matter what religion you practise, there's something for everyone!
Top 10 Things No One Told Me About Natural Parenting — Adrienne at Mommying My Way explains that the best things about natural parenting are things she never expected.
Top 10 Flower Essences for Families — Kim of Nature Baby Bloggings lists her pick of the top ten flower essence which can help ease families through the ups and downs of life.
My Top Ten Parenting Tools — Amyables at Toddler In Tow names the top ten tools that have been helpful to her while learning to parent respectfully and successfully.
Ten Ways Families Can Enjoy Nature (for free!) — Spring is nearly in the air, and Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction is dreaming of the fun and frugal ways that her family is going to get out and enjoy nature this summer.
10 Reasons We Unschool — Patti at Jazzy Mama explains why unschooling is the right choice for her family.
Must Read: Natural Parenting Top Ten — Amy at Anktangle wants you to do a little reading! She shares her top ten favorite books to help parents prepare for pregnancy, birth, and parenting.
Top 10 Breastfeeding Misconceptions — Sheila at A Gift Universe examines ten reasons women give for why they didn't breastfeed as long as they wanted, and shows how these obstacles can be overcome.
Ten Reasons to Plan a Home Birth — Since a home birth can be an incredibly empowering experience, Leslie at Lights and Letters outlines ten reasons why you should plan to have your baby at home.
Top Ten Books for Birth, Breastfeeding and Parenting — Megan at Just Me(gan) writes about the ten books that have helped her the most in her natural parenting journey.
A Top Ten Letter To Me... — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes herself a letter of reflections and bits of wisdom she would have liked to know as a new mama.
Top Ten Mama Necessities Money Can't Buy — Buying baby gear is fun, but Emily at Crunchy(ish) Mama knows real parenting must-haves can't be bought in stores (or even on Amazon).
Top 10 Books for a Natural Mum — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine talks about her Top 10 Books for a Natural Mum.
Ten Great Spring Activities To Do With Preschoolers — Kellie at Our Mindful Life and her family have come up with a great list of activities to do together this spring.
10 Ways to Reuse Yogurt Containers — Acacia at Fingerpaint & Superheroes keeps the stacks of yogurt containers out of her recycling bin by reusing them in both practical and creative ways.
Top Ten Ways To Have a Harmonious Home — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares her natural parenting-inspired methods for maintaining a harmonious daily life with her toddler.
10 Natural Baby Items I Love — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares product ideas to support your natural parenting.
The Pandas' Top Five Crunch-osophies — Top five crunchy philosophies, as employed at the Panda Residence by Ana at Pandamoly.
Top 10 Reasons to Leave Your Son Intact — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children has shared 10 reasons why you should leave your newborn son intact.
Ten things everyone should know about unassisted homebirth — Olivia at Write About Birth shares practical tips for women considering an unassisted homebirth and debunks some common myths
10 Most Popular Ways To Treat Cloth Diaper Stains — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey gives ten easy tips to make your diapers like new.
10 Lessons in 1 Year — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares 10 parenting lessons that she has learned throughout her first year of motherhood.
Top 10 Ways to Get Breastfeeding Off To a Good Start — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes shares 10 effective ways to ensure breastfeeding gets off to a good start.
Top 10 Ways to Avoid a Time-Out — If you are uncomfortable using time-outs in an attempt to control your child's behavior, try one of these gentler alternatives. Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares her Top 10 Ways to Avoid a Time-Out.
My Top 10 Parenting Scriptures — Dulce de leche is learning to integrate faith and parenting. Whether it is breastfeeding, babywearing, comforting her children, or gentle discipline, she finds that the Bible has beautiful passages to encourage her on her journey.
Natural Cleaning Ideas - Top 10 — Laura at Laura's Blog lists the ways she keeps her house clean and clear of chemicals.
My Top Ten (plus two) Life Altering and Growth Inspiring Books — A top ten list of books from MJ at Wander Wonder Discover that changed her life as an individual, a parent, and an earth dweller.
Top 10 Ways to Use Natural Parenting for Children with Special Needs — Danielle at Mommy Makes Cents feeds the needs of her family and special needs child through the use of Natural Parenting.
Ten Fundamentals — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante gets philosophical with a list of the fundamentals that drive her natural parenting.
10 reasons why I chose breast over bottles — Becky at Old New Legacy writes a quick list of why she chose breast over bottles.
Top Ten Natural Tools for the Work of Play — Lori at Beneath the Rowan Tree offers insight into 10 natural toys that will span the early years (and save you money).
10 differences between pregnancy and parenting in Japan and the US — Megan at Ichigo Means Strawberry gives her impressions about differences in pregnancy and parenting in Japan and the US.
Natural Parenting Benny & Bex Style — Pecky at Benny and Bex explains why Natural Parenting principles work best for her boys.
Top 10 Reasons to Co-Sleep — 10 practical, emotional, and completely selfish reasons to co-sleep and share a family bed from Lily, aka Witch Mom.
My Top Ten New Mommy Moments — Melissa at The New Mommy Files recounts the ten most memorable moments of her daughter's first year.
Top Ten Things Every Breastfeeding Mother Needs to Know — Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood believes knowledge is power and wants all moms to be well informed.
Top 10 Nursing Positions / Situations — Momma Jorje uses her 5½ years of nursing experience to share her Top 10 Nursing Positions/Situations. She includes some adorable photos of her youngest daughter at the breast.
Ten Top Ways to Connect Kids with Nature — Terri from Child at the Nature Isle offers 10 ways to immerse ourselves in the natural world and develop a love affair with the Earth.
Top 10 Slacker Ways to Natural Parent — Guavalicious is happy to show you how to parent naturally the slacker way.
Simply what it looks like — Andrea!!! from Ella-Bean & Co. offers a glimpse into natural parenting through the eyes of mama and babe.
Top Ten Reasons Why Natural Parenting Dads Are So Attractive — Nada at miniMOMist sure digs her husband, but it's not just his good looks -- it's his parenting!
10 Family Systems and Routines That Work for Us — See what routines, organizational systems, and parenting approaches work for Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings to help avoid conflict and maintain sanity in a family with three young children.
Top 10 reasons to choose midwifery care — Lauren at Hobo Mama lists the features that drew her to midwives' care for pregnancy and birth.
10 Ways to Cloth Diaper on a Budget — Michelle at The Parent Vortex shares her best thrifty cloth diapering tips.
Ten Reasons it Felt Sew Good To Make My Own Play Food — Brittany at Mama's Felt Cafe lists her 10 (OK, 11) favorite reasons to grab a needle and start sewing your own felt play toys.
Top10 Ways to Spark Interest, Learn, and Have Fun With Everyday Tasks! — Bethy at Bounce Me to the Moon gives you her top 10 ways of incorporating fun and lessons into everyday tasks and chores.
Postpartum Gift Ideas — Alicia at I Found My Feet suggests a top 10 list of gifts for mother's after giving birth.
My Top Ten Shows Worthy Of Screen Time — Tree at Mom Grooves shares her top ten list of shows that she believes are positive, educational, kind, joyful, and a nice way to share some downtime with your children.
The Top 10 Ways to Succeed as an Working Attachment Parent — That Mama Gretchen shares tried and true ways to succeed with attachment parenting even when working away from home during the day.
Top Ten Books for Natural Parenting — Pregnancy, herbs, cooking, and healthcare the ten books Asha at Meta Mom the most.
Preparing for a Hospital VBAC: My Top 10 — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis shares 10 ways she's preparing for her upcoming hospital VBAC.
Top Ten New Mom Survival Tools — Wolfmother shares her most beloved motherhood survival tools at Fabulous Mama Chronicles.
Top 10 Montessori Principles for Natural Learning — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now gives her top 10 list of Montessori principles parents can use to encourage their children s natural learning.
Going Granola — Tashmica from The Mother Flippin' Blog describes the 10 ways that natural parenting sneaked up on her. She never expected to go all granola on the world.
Step Away From the Amazon List — Stefanie at Very, Very Fine wishes she hadn't bought so much useless stuff.

Thoughts On Jury Duty

2011-01-31T19:26:00.000-06:00

Just a few time saving ideas I gleaned today from carefully observing my potential fellow jurors. I hope you find them helpful the next time you are called to serve your civic duty:

(1) Bring nail clippers. This brilliant idea hadn't occurred to me beforehand, but the man sitting across from me had a clearer mind. He was able to get all ten fingers neat and trimmed in the down time between our check-in and the video presentation about juror pride. And as the human fingernail is biodegradable, he was easily able to dispose of his clippings by brushing them off the chair arm and onto the floor to eventually become one with the dust bunnies and be reborn as lint. I believe he was called to a courtroom after that, or else he might have been able to fit in a pedicure as well.

(2) Don't bother getting dressed. Pajamas (or, if you're really fancy, sweatpants and a sweatshirt) are the uniform of the potential juror. A stocking cap with crazy pieces of hair escaping from under the knit is optional, but encouraged. Today I foolishly wore a collared shirt and brushed my hair, and, boy, did I ever stick out.

(3) Carry at least three large novels, more (up to five) if you can manage. Move the stack with you from one waiting room to another and to the courtroom when jury selection begins. Don't worry about reading them. Ever. Just move them around with you all day. This way you get a small workout even though you're not able to be at the gym.

(4) Review your medical files prior to showing-up. This way you'll be prepared to talk in detail about vitamin regimens, which prescriptions you are taking, stints, all of your hospital stays, and your future planned surgeries to the person sitting next to you in the waiting room. Speak loudly so everyone in the room can hear you; that way you don't have to repeat yourself if the person sitting next to you moves seats and someone else sits next to you.

(5) Bring a pair of scissors. This way you'll get extra attention at the security check-in, will be able to learn the guards' names, and can easily say, "Hi John. Hi Steve. I'm back to pick up my scissors," when it's time to leave for the day. This saves time because there won't be a need to look at the name badges to say your polite goodbyes.

And finally,

(6) When council asks you questions about whether you can consider someone innocent until proven otherwise, say things like, "I can try, but I'm only human," and "If a case escalates as far as a trial, it's pretty obvious that the defendant must be guilty." This will save you spending any time on the actual jury itself.

Wordless... Thursday

2010-12-23T07:17:00.001-06:00

I forgot to post this yesterday! (My brain is already foggy!)

P.S. Have you ever Googled "positive pregnancy tests" and looked through the photos?

Go do it. Hilarious.

Mirror, Mirror

2010-12-03T14:09:00.000-06:00

I caught Uli, playing with a baby doll, talking to her reflection in a mirror.

Uli: Sing?
Mirror Uli: Yes [nodding emphatically]
Uli: ABCs! [singing] A, B, C, D...
Mirror Uli: [shaking her head] No, no ABCs.
Uli: Okay. Okay. Bitsy. (i.e. Itsy Bitsy Spider)
Mirror Uli: Yes! [pause] No. [head shake] ABCs.
Uli: Okay. [singing] A, B, C, D... [etc. Gets a little shaky in the middle there and ends with a hearty Y.]
Mirror Uli: Baby [holds the baby up to the mirror]. Milk, baby.
Uli: [lifting her shirt to breastfeed the doll] Yes, baby milk. Rock baby.
Mirror Uli: Fall down.
Uli: Shhh, baby. Rock. Milk.
Mirror Uli: [nodding] Milk. Hug.
Uli: Baby "Dear One" [hugs]
Mirror Uli: Always.

I love this peek into her head, so sweet. But it's reminded me of my responsibilities. Those words she says? She learned them from me and her father. The songs? We sing them with her. The breastfeeding? She and I still share that. The "Dear One" reference? I call her that (and she's started replying, "Always" when I do. It makes my heart warm).

This life we're living together is molding her, guiding her understanding of how the world works. And I'm thrilled that so far she's focusing on the happy singing and hugs. But the other times... those when I'm frustrated and raise my voice, or the moments when I tell her "Not now"... those are in her head too, I know.

I know that Super Mom is an unatainable job title, but I sure do hope that in these future years I see more of her rehearsing cuddles and nursing her dollies than I observing dolls in the corner or being told to sit quietly. It's an awesome thing, this parenthood. Awesome, and sometimes overwhelming and exciting, both.

Whatcha Readin' Wednesday: Poetry

2010-11-24T12:18:00.001-06:00

You've probably caught on to the fact that many many children's books are in rhyme. Dr. Seuss' books are a prime example. While I enjoy rhymes and find them fun to read aloud, I also enjoy reading actual poetry to my daughter.

Need a definition of the distinction? Sorry, don't have one on the top of my head. (Anyone want to help me figure it out? Leave a comment!) But I can share a few of the books I read to Uli which I consider poetry rather than just rhymed prose (emphasis on "I consider"):

The Genie in the Jar

by Nikki Giovanni

Illustrated by Chris Raschka

From the book's jacket the poem is described as one which "inspires us all to trust our hearts" and "a hymn to the power of art and of love." The illustrations show us a young girl dancing with her mother and community and receiving comfort when sad.

I enjoy reading it to Uli because it's short (sometimes you only have time for a quick read!), because it's positive (make the sky sing a Black song / sing a blue song / sing my song), and because the pictures are easy to describe (mainly people dancing or hugging on a plain brown background: it's easy for my toddler to count the people on a page, or name colors, or ask about the action on the page).

One repeated line/warning in the poem is "don't prick your finger," which thus far I haven't needed to discuss with Uli. I'll have to put on my Literature Hat for that one. Otherwise, it's a very approachable book.

Insectlopedia

by Douglas Florian

LOVE this book! It's a collection of twenty-one bug-themed poems (who doesn't like BUGS?), each with a corresponding painting. The artwork is clever but the poems are even better. Uli loves to hear them. Her favorite?

The Daddy Longlegs
(O Daddy / Daddy O / How'd you get / Those legs to grow / So very long / And lean in size? / From spiderobic / Exercise?).

I think my favorites are either

The Dragonfly
(For lunch I much / On flies and bees. / Mosquitoes with / My feet I seize)

or

The Praying Mantis
(Upon a twig / I sit and pray / For something big / To wend my way).

hist whist

by e.e. cummings

illustrated by Deborah Kogan Ray

This short, enjoyably illustrated book uses Cummings' poem to explore a Halloween night. The poem and pictures could be too scary/worrysome to some small children (look out for the old woman / with the wart on her nose / what she'll do to yer / nobody knows), but I (and Uli) appreciate the "revelation" on the last page that shows all the spooky characters introduced earlier were just children dressed-up in costumes, having Halloween fun. Uli enjoys the read (and specifically asks for "hist whist," which I find adorable).

And finally,

On Uncle John's Farm

by Sally Fitz-Gibbon

illustrated by Brian Deines

In this children's book, a girl describes a day on her uncle's farm. The story is told in first-person, non-rhyming lines. (Back in the garden of peas, beans, and carrots / of strawberries staining my fingers and mouth / I twirl in the middle of cabbage and lettuce / my toes in the deep earth / my arms to the breeze). The impressionist-style pictures add to the free-whirling charm of the poetry. Uli regularly asks this to be read to her at bedtime.

So, just a small selection of books I consider poetry which my daughter enjoys as much as I. Do you have favorites? I'm all ears when it comes to book recommendations!

My Little Baby-Wearer

2010-11-18T19:43:00.000-06:00

Doesn't seem so long ago I was the one wearing the baby!

Uli and "Little Baby"

I wish I could take credit for inspiring her to baby-wear, but I cannot. At least, not in the back-carry she currently favors. She's picked-up this carry (or as she calls it, "Baby [on] back!") from various books and from watching the Babies movie.

Yup, she's back there, safe & sound

And what to do when baby is done being worn?

What's that, baby? Want to get down?

Time to ~~coerce~~ coax the kitty into being wrapped!

Here, let me wrap this like so...

We've learned baby-wearing is best done with babies

Not a Picky Eater

2010-11-15T20:20:00.000-06:00

My dear baby girl. She has quite the wide and varied palate.

For the actual people-foods she's been eating lately, click on over to my cooking blog. (More cooking than writing, lately).

CSA Windfall

2010-11-06T20:47:00.001-05:00

A lovely friend of mine was out of town this weekend and unable to pick-up her last scheduled CSA delivery. She graciously offered my family the veggies.

Who could turn down an offer like that? I meandered on down to to the farmer's market and picked-up her scheduled share of this week's harvest.

Brussels Sprouts

Kale & Bok Choy & other mystery [to me] greens

Broccoli & Cauliflower

Turnips, Beets & Sweet Potatoes

Carrots

~~Catnip~~ Salad Mix

There was also some lovely butternut squash, which made two wonderful soups for our dinner.

If you haven't participated in a CSA before, perhaps I can convince you to check your local farms/availability and to sign-up next spring? You won't regret it! But note that many CSAs sell out all their shares by April or May, so don't forget to research/apply prior to the actual harvesting season. I tell you, the fresh produce from a CSA beats grocery store veggies every time.

A very big thank you to my friend for sharing the veggies with us. You're awesome, M!

Vinegar & Honey: Outlook on Natural Parenting

2010-11-04T20:17:00.001-05:00

When I'd started brainstorming about a post for November's Natural Parenting Carnival (I am sorry to say that in the end I missed the deadline to submit. ::sigh::) the first thought that popped into my mind was that natural parenting means saying "No" a lot.

The Vinegar List

No to CIO.
No to hauling my child around in a baby bucket.
No to disposable diapers.
No to the typical CDC vaccination schedule and suspect suspensions.
No to refined sugars.
No to hormone-laden meat.
No to pesticide-sprayed produce.
No to the highly perfumed, super-duper, poisonous household cleaners.
No, I'm not [yet] weaning my baby/toddler.
No, we don't want those plastic/branded/TV-themed toys in our house.
No, I don't feel my toddler needs to watch any "children's" television programs.

It gets discouraging, saying "No" all the time. Not to mention people start to think of you as The Cranky One who is No Fun.

But then I realized that my parenting ideals weren't chosen by me because I love everything barren and harsh and bitter. Instead, my goals align with many of the NP philosophies because they create opportunities for closeness with my daughter. They provide me an opportunity to learn more about our community. They are in line with my hopes for the environment and the future of our world.

I don't need to view my parenting ideals in a negative light. Instead, check out the same list from a positive viewpoint:

The Honey List

Yes to responding to my child when she calls out for me.
Yes to carrying my baby in a sling, heart to heart, able to kiss her little head.
Yes to reusable (and so cute!) cloth [or EC].
Yes to educating ourselves and nurturing our bodies and their natural, amazing defenses.
Yes to enjoying the natural sweetness of whole grains, dabs of honey, nectars, and ripe fruits.
Yes to local, organic, sustainable farming.
Yes to our backyard garden and compost.
Yes to homemade, inexpensive, non-toxic cleaning products.
Yes to breastfeeding for as long as my daughter and I desire.
Yes to imaginative, well-made toys from companies who pay their workers a living wage.
Yes to reading aloud to my family every day.

There is a time and a place for Vinegar arguments, certainly. Vinegar is a good, strong, cleaner. Shines your windows, cleans your fridge and doesn't poison you. But I'm hoping my daily attitude more often reflects the Honey list's joyful spin and its eagerness to enjoy the natural world with home and family.

I've been inspired at one point or another by others who have shared their excitement about various pieces of Natural Parenting, and I'd like to think my own household may someday inspire others as well. So I'm rearranging my thoughts to focus on the positives that inspire me versus spouting-off about all the things I'm trying to avoid. Anyone want to join me?

Happy Outlook, Summer 2010

Autumn Poems & Pics from the Porch

2010-10-14T12:31:00.001-05:00

Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it,

and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth

seeking the successive autumns.

~ George Eliot

"Listen! the wind is rising,
and the air is wild with leaves..."

~ Humbert Wolfe

October's the month

When the smallest breeze

Gives us a shower

Of autumn leaves.

Bonfires and pumpkins,

Leaves sailing down -

October is red

And golden and brown.

~ Can Teach Songs

Whatcha Readin' Weds: The Mountains of Tibet

2010-10-13T07:00:00.021-05:00

Is my local library glutted with books intent upon making me cry? Perhaps I gravitate toward those types. It's possible I've just become an easy crier. Well, count The Mountains of Tibet by Mordicai Gerstain among my ever lengthening list of children's books that have recently drawn a tear or two. Uli enjoyed looking at the pictures and hearing the story read to her (even when my throat got scratchy and my voice grew quiet).

Mordicai Gerstin's book is simple. And also: not. (It's hard to describe the not without giving everything away, so if you wish to be surprised, just stick to the next paragraph and then if you're interested in the read, add it to your library request list.)

A small boy lives in Tibet. He loves to fly kites. He dreams about other lands, about exploring the world, about meeting new people and visiting new places. Then he grows up. He stays in his home village and raises a family. He works hard. He grows old. He dies.

Simple enough, right? Lovely illustrations. Told in few sentences in a straightforward manner. Death is not portrayed as sad nor disturbing, just as part of the life cycle.

But that part I note above is just the beginning of the book. The rest of the story is about after death.

If you're reading on, consider this your spoiler alert.

While the beginning of the book shows the man's life, the remainder of the book is about what takes place after his death. From his point of view.

After his death he is provided a glimpse of the entire massive universe. He is invited (by an unidentified voice/being) to become part of the universe, to lose himself in the Everything that's out there. Or he can choose to rejoin a life cycle and start anew, in any galaxy, on any planet, as any creature, anywhere he wishes.

He chooses to live another life.

He doesn't exactly recall his life as a human in Tibet, but nonetheless he feels drawn to the Milky Way galaxy, and to the sun and to Earth. And when presented with all the different creatures in the world he decides to become human once more. When offered the ability to be reborn as any human, he chooses to be Tibetan once again. And he chooses to be born into the very village in which he'd previously lived.

The cycle begins again.

The Mountains of Tibet's illustrations are gorgeous, and they alone make the trip to the library worth your while (those after he dies, when he's viewing the solar system and then all the different creatures of the world, are especially beautiful). As for the text, I like that the story is happy even though it includes death. The main story only happens because of death, in fact. Death is necessary and kept close, not shown as something to fear. I like that the man's draw to his former home in Tibet is portrayed not in a sad, you're-stuck-with-what-you-know sort of way but in a it's-a-wonderful-life and who-says-you-can't-go-home sort of way. While the man doesn't specifically remember his former life, he clearly sees value in the mountain lands and wants to experience life there [again]. And so he does.

Simple. But not.

Uli enjoyed having it read it to her ("Read Tibet" was one of her earliest sentences!). I hope to add it to our home library very soon.

Be Like Dwight

2010-10-06T20:29:00.000-05:00

You probably aren't aware, but this past spring we decided to become beet farmers. (Also: chard gardeners, but I don't have pictures of the chard, so I'll just talk about beets here.)

Following in the footsteps of all our favorite Office character, we planted a million tiny beet seeds and then waited and waited and mulched and watered and waited for our lovely baby beets to grow up. And then they did! They grew! And we promptly plucked them and sliced them and roasted them and ate them.

Mmmm. Baby beets & greens.

And then the novelty wore off and The Office was on summer break and so we left the rest of the beets to the wild of the garden for months. However, this past weekend fast-approaching cold weather forced us to take action and harvest them.

We had vast variations in size at our harvest. That one on the left up there, maybe a golf ball size. The middle one is more of what you'd see in a supermarket. The one on the right? HUGE. Like, a small bunny rabbit size. Or maybe a loaf of bread size. I suspect a more uniform crop would be a sign we knew what we were doing, but oh well. It was kind of fun to first pull a monster-sized beet, then a few that were basically just leaves, then a few regular beets and then another large one. (Okay, fun might be pushing it, but at least it wasn't boring.)

Once the beets are unearthed the real fun begins. You get to cut the tops from the roots and rinse off the greens (unless you like grit and/or live earwigs and/or dead spiders in your food. And you might, that's your prerogative) and saute them with onions and garlic in olive oil for a fabulous and simple side dish.

De-spidered and ready for cooking!

You can also brush-up on your Russian (or Romanian or Polish or Prussian or Armenian or Chinese) food history while you stir a triple batch of Whole Beet Borscht.

Tastes way better than it looks here

Or you can talk about colors with your toddler while eating Russian Salad (which, I understand, isn't actually something you will necessarily find in Russia).

Carrots, potatoes, beets, peas...

Food gardening. I do enjoy it. Providing your family's meals from food gathered in your own backyard has its rewards. But perhaps next year we might grow something other than just chard and beets. (Sorry, Dwight.)

Pumpkin Seed Time

2010-09-26T19:49:00.001-05:00

As many of you may have done recently, this weekend I roasted pumpkin seeds.

Uli loved them. She loved digging the seeds out of the middle of the pumpkin. She loved squishing the gooey seeds and the stringing pumpkin innards back and forth from hand to hand. She loved spreading them on the cookie sheet. She loved eating them once they were cool.

And she loved counting them. (My baby can count! Kind of!)

Daddy: "Do you want more pumpkin seeds?"
Uli: "Two!"
Daddy: "You want two more seeds?"
Uli: "Two and six!"
Daddy: "Two plus six?"
Uli: "One, two, three!"

I believe seeds are brain food, no?

PSA: Save Your Photos & Then Save Them Again Elsewhere!

2010-08-30T21:12:00.000-05:00

It's the weirdest thing, to go from 2,000+ photos in iPhoto to 0.

Zero photos of my sweet baby's face. Zero photos of her birth. Her first smiles. Her sticking-up hair. Zero.

All because of a stupid faulty hard drive and a misplaced faith in the foreverness of digital bits. Computer failure could never happen to me. That happens to those other foolish people who don't back-up their computers. Carrie Bradshaw. But ME who doesn't back up my computer? Surely I'd be forever immune from all such pedestrian troubles.

Mmmhmmm.

So while I'm ~~begging~~ graciously accepting photos from others who might have snapped a shot or two of the monkey girl (and am I ever glad the proud momma posts from my blogs survived the wipe) here's a quick reminder to all of you to GO BACK UP YOUR PHOTOS. Yes, right now. Or, okay, tomorrow. But don't get all slacker and wait a week or anything. I managed to put off my back-up by more than 104 weeks, one week at a time (I'm quite the accomplished slacker, really) and look where that got me.

A moment in time, Summer 2009.

Nearly lost forever, now restored.

(Thanks, Em, for saving this pic!)

Nursing Rules for Toddlers

2010-08-26T20:33:00.002-05:00

It may be time to Lay Down the Law. A nursing law, that is. And not this one that was signed into law this past year (go, Wisconsin!), but no, an actual Nursing Rules For the Propson Household law of sorts.

Because, while I don't want to wean her before she's ready, I do want to:

-sleep through the night. An actual 7+ hours. In. A. Row.
-avoid being bitten awake in the morning by a ravenous toddler
-eat my breakfast while it's still warm
-sit at lunch with a friend without having to lift up my shirt more than twice every ten minutes

And right now we're struggling on all these points.

Our nursings before bed and first thing in the morning are usually gentle, quiet, sweet times together. And her speed snacks during the days when I'm home with her seem pretty practical still.

But I do wish that when she wants to nurse she would nurse and when she wants to play she'd play and the two wouldn't always be so intermingled. As it is, she often tries to both nurse and play at the exact same time and ends up frustrated (-ing us both) by not really being able to satisfactorily do either well. Either her latch loosens or she drops her truck and then she stops both nursing and playing and seems saddened by the world's difficulties.

She sometimes compromises on the nursing/playing by squeezing a breast so that milk squirts out onto my shirt, which she thinks is a hilarious and thrilling and never-dull game. I am less enthralled.

I'm also thinking that a "code word" for nursing might come in handy, for clarity's sake. So far she's happy to say or sign "milk" when she wants to nurse, but I think she's confused about anatomy versus food. No part of my body is called "milk," but I think she understands it as all the same. At least, she certainly points to other women and says "milk" rather often now, and while they're quick to say they don't have any milk, I can see the glint in her blue eyes as though she's well aware of they're full of lies. And maybe they are from her point of view if all she's doing is simply pointing out anatomy.

Anyway, I don't actually have any particular life-changing rules in mind. Nor an idea for a code word. And maybe I don't even need to make serious changes. Or any changes. Overall, Uli's nursing less and less and I can see our days as Mamma and Nursling are numbered. Perhaps I should just enjoy this fleeting time as-is.

But I am getting irritated by my closet-full of milk stained shirts.

Maybe I'm just grumpy because it's been 2 years since I last slept longer than 5 hours in a row.

[Insert picture of my happy girl enjoying her milk.

If only they hadn't all been lost in the computer crash.]

At least SOMEONE has something to say...

2010-08-24T18:39:00.001-05:00

Uli's become quite the wordsmith, finally stringing two and more words together as of last week. Here are three of my daughter's most charming first sentences:

"Mama poop!"

"Puh" (or "Ya-ya") poop!" ["Puh" is what she calls our dog Ruby, "Ya-ya" is Lula]

"Mama (or Dada) potty. Poop. All-done!"

Needless to say, her father and I are very proud.

Choices, Choices...Vanity vs. Radioactive Breasts

2010-08-17T21:26:00.000-05:00

I've been MIA, I know. It's been difficult for me to blog lately. Partially because of an overwhelmingly freakish writer's block that is now showing signs of lifting (it's not gone, though. It's taken me more than two weeks to construct this single post. Sentence by painful sentence), but also because honestly I prefer to write about real-life, day-to-day things and there are things that have been happening of which I cannot yet blog. Someday soon, perhaps, but not now. And that act of holding back, knowing I cannot share specific items of my life, just feeds the block.

But something happened t~~his week~~ three weeks ago of which I CAN write.

It's actually kind of a bummer.

I'll be having surgery in September.

I've been struggling with Graves Disease and hyperthyroidism for just over a year now. Symptoms showed up in force after my daughter was born, though I think I saw a ghost of them years before. Shaking. Sweating. Heart palpitations. And then with my newborn also came my low milk supply.

The endocrinologist put me on a medication called PTU. And I've felt better.

But...

PTU has been known to cause liver damage, so it's not fabulous to be on long-term. And the alternative medication available doesn't work for my situation right now. So I can't stay on my current meds and I can't take the other one offered. And going off meds all together doesn't seem like a good idea, what with the heart palpitations, jitters, heat sensitivity, etc... Adjusting my diet hasn't made much/any difference, it seems (I did try!). Sadness. And that leaves surgery.

There are two kinds of surgery being offered to me: the physical removal of the thyroid (thyroidectomy) and the killing of the thyroid (using radioactive iodine) whilst leaving it in my body.

The radioactive iodine was most recently the only treatment that my endocrinologist mentioned; however, you cannot be breastfeeding if you get the radioactive treatment. That was enough for me to refuse the treatment when it was first mentioned and it remains a primary reason I've decided it's not for me at all. True, I'm not nursing very much any more, but our bed- and morning time routines still include it as a cherished moment, and I'm not yet willing to forcefully end it if my daughter still wants her milks.

Plus, even if I were to reconsider total weaning at this point, the doctors said that the longer it'd been since I'd been actively lactating the better/safer it would be for me in the long run. Thing is, the radioactivity apparently concentrates in breastmilk, which means that if I weren't completely dried-up I'd have radioactive bits of milk hanging out in my breasts for a while after the treatment. And that is not so great when it comes to avoiding things like, oh, breast cancer.

Also, patients having the iodine treatment shouldn't be around children for several days to a week (so Uli wouldn't be able to be in the house with me. Because how do you tell a toddler to stay on the far edges of any room Momma is in? Stay away from Mamma! No hugs!) and even around adults you need to be careful, flushing twice after using the toilet, and scrubbing down the shower/tub after you bathe. Kind of intense.

So I'm not doing the radioactive iodine.

Instead, I'll be having the thyroidectomy. And it's okay. The surgeon said that it's actually the best option for people with Graves because getting rid of the thyroid altogether will mean the antibodies currently circulating in my system an attacking my thyroid will hopefully calm down once the thyroid is gone (leaving less risk to my eyes and to any future fetuses' thyroids).

But I'm still not totally thrilled.

I got lasik so that if civilization came to an end I would still be able to see even without contacts. That was important to me, to have healthy eyes that could help me survive in a time of crisis. And now I'm struggling to accept the idea that without my thyroid I'll be stuck relying on hormone pills for the rest of my life. Or I'll die. Die! I'll be a lifelong Walgreen's customer or I'll die. I hate that thought.

Also, and embarrassingly, mostly I'm worried about the thyroidectomy scar. Which, rather than hiding quietly below my bikini line as the cesarean scar so thoughtfully rests, will be right up there POW! on my neck. For all to see and gawk at and make Nearly Headless Nick jokes about.

Yes, I am hardly better than my thirteen year old self. I could be worrying about surgical mishaps, flooding and famine, car accidents, the night Uli will have to spend away from me while I'm in recovery. But no, I am concerned about a red line on my neck.

But that's how it is. I predict I'll be wearing a lot of scarves this next year. I'll pretend it's because I'm all into fancy retro looks, but you'll know the truth.

The Four Freedoms

2010-07-04T10:25:00.000-05:00

God keep this country free:
        Free from tyrants and their whips
          To stamp out truth and seal the lips;
     Free for every race and creed,
          Free from fear,
          Free from need;
God keep this country free.

~by Leah Gale from Prayers for Children (a Little Golden Book, 1942)

Blocked

2010-06-16T13:00:00.000-05:00

writer's block
block
block
block
block
block
block
brain
block
block
block
block
block
block
block
not even a Wordless Wednesday

The Recent Bloggy Silence Brought to you by...

2010-06-10T11:25:00.001-05:00

photo by Martin Kingsley

~Summery weather [go out and get some summer yourself today!]

~A visit with one sister [it was so good to see you, Liz!]

~A goodbye from another sister [we miss you so much already, Em! good luck on your move!]

~Stupification over our family's new bedtime routine [more on this to come]

Memorial Weekend Recap

2010-05-31T22:27:00.001-05:00

Random Entertainment

True Love

Sunshine

What's All This, Then? Motherland Art Review: Part 1

2010-05-27T13:10:00.003-05:00

Head's up: I will hereby attempt to review an art show I attended last Sunday. I intend to break it up over a few posts over the next week or two. This will be the first time I have ever attempted to review a piece of art, much less an entire show, and I feel that I must disclose the fact that I have absolutely no qualifications which allow me to review shows of any sort (not even picture or dog). And actually, I should probably be calling it an exhibit or project or something, so I'm already off to a rocky start. Nevertheless, I shall continue, starting with this first selection and following-up with more as I finish writing them. And then I will possibly go back and update everything if I read other's review and realized I was way off base. So. Read on if you dare! And be kind. Remember, I'm a novice.

First off, an overview. Greetings from Motherland is, per its website, "an evolving participatory arts project about the culture shock of becoming a mother." Artistic Director Mindy Stricke met regulary with a small group of Madison mothers and over several months they sculpted, photographed, collaged, sewed, wrote, and proceeded to create works meant to share their experiences as women who have traveled the often trepidatious road from pre-child to POW! You're a mother! The show's bulletin listed eight primary artistic contributors and several other peripheral contributors to Sunday's initial showing (with additional contributions expected if/as the show continues).

I arrived at the Motherland show (exibit?) ten minutes before it was scheduled to open (carpooling gets you places, not always exactly when you need to arrive). I looked the antithesis of hip or artsy: I was wearing my Birkenstock sandals (I'd come directly from lounging at the lakefront), a jean skirt, and a bright yellow seagull t-shirt which, while fine for a beach retreat, had no place mingling with artists. (A bird had pooped on my chest earlier that afternoon--True Story--and the bright, ironically bird-embellished tee was the only back-up piece of clothing in my possession that day other than the 12 month onsie still cluttering up the bottom of my 19 month daughter's diaper bag).

I mention my outfit in order to set the mood. My mood, that is, as I stepped into the gallery space. Basically: I felt incredibly foolish. There I was, entering a room in which I could only imagine were women much more successful than I. Not only were they more creative and productive than I felt, I wouldn't even be able to pretend I was cultured or had class lest they point at my shirt and laugh in my face. I was outside my comfort zone.

As I was saying (I know, I know: get to it already, Thomasin! Jeez, remember what I said about being nice?), I stepped through the exhibit door unfashionably early and, well, just plain unfashionable. Much to my relief I received not heckles but immediate welcomes from the artists. They were hurrying about adding finishing touches to the set-up, and though I still felt awkward there was nothing more to do than to jump right in take them up on their invitation and explore the installations.

Notes:

I've decided to describe the works in the order I would have viewed them had I moved about the room counter-clockwise. I didn't exactly move that way myself, but I think most visitors probably did (it seemed to be the natural flow).

I didn't see titles on any of the pieces, so I'm calling each by a simple descriptive name I've made up (I hope no one is offended with the liberties I've taken).

Mini-Viewers

After walking by tables with refreshments and child crafts thoughtfully provided for guests & their children, I observed numerous (12? 20? I didn't count them) multi-colored rectangular plastic boxes hanging from wires, mobile-style . I initially passed them by, believing they were simply flair for the space, attractive to look at but nothing begging closer attention.

I was, of course, wrong; before long I'd spoken to one of the artists and was directed back to the colorful hanging arrangement. It turns out each brightly colored box was an individual slide viewer. You were meant to grab one of the dangling boxes (moving one caused others nearby to bob all about, but for the most part they were independent of each other), point it toward the light source, and then peek through the viewer to view a single slide/photo.

Click here for a link to a photo of the piece.

There two slides I recall most clearly:

The first depicts two figurines (I believe male and female) in the foreground, their gazes set on the huge baby (doll) in the background.

The second also showed two figurines (I don't recall the genders, it may have been unclear) surrounded (engulfed) by Cheerio-type cereal o's.

Both slides brough to mind a familiar feeling. First the "Oh my goodness. We have a BABY!" that shocks you the first time your child cries and you look around to see who will pick that baby up and suddenly you realize It's my baby. I am supposed to pick her up! It's all me! Also the feeling of being overwhelmed by the minutiea of baby-rearing. The hundreds of items we're told we need (from the o's to the strollers, pumps, clothes, teethers, walkers, highchairs and all the other bits that most everyone accumulates when they are preparing for a baby which they may or may not actually need).

For me, the slides felt familiar. I've known something akin to panic as I realized we weren't just planning for a baby any longer: our baby was here. And looking around at the spread of food and toy stuffs we've accumulated into our home since our daughters arrival, I have some emphathy for the little plastic people and their halos of Cheerios.

Other impressions from the slides:

~just because something's small doesn't mean it can't pack a whallop

~so I hadn't recognized the viewers as part of the show. It's possible that was part of the point. I think about my pre-baby life and stuff and how it's still with me. I don't think about it being there, but it is. It still affects how I move about my life.

~child-friendly and reminiscent of childhood: I could appreciate the medium (once I spotted it!)

~it's all in the details. Life isn't just about the big and showy, it's about the pieces that may be all too often overlooked as well. They still help create our world, our space.

The viewers were an interesting way to begin the show (I say that even though I rushed right on past them). It was an interesting idea, asking the art-viewers to begin participating in the experience by changing them from passive observers to action-takers immediately. It certainly set the tone for the rest of the installations (in which the artists sought not only to share but to encourage the sharing of experiences). Also: giving a person a "job" (even if it's such a simple job as to pull a viewer to your eye and peek through it) does much to dispel the awkward but I'm wearing a bird shirt feeling of the uninitiated art-goer.

So. How'd I do? Go ahead, you can tell me. It'll help me work on the rest of the reviews. :-)

Misguided Parenting Magazines: Part 1

2010-05-24T12:47:00.002-05:00

I'm a devoted subscriber to Mothering magazine. The Madison Birth Center provided me with free copies throughout my pregnancy, and I fell in love with the information about homebirth, babywearing, cloth diapering, inspiring breastfeeding stories, and other thoughtful articles about vaccinations, the environment, and gentle discipline.

Waiting in the lobby of my MD's office last month, I picked-up a copy of Pregnancy magazine (April 2010 issue. $5.99 newsstand), wondering what the doctor's office handed out to their patients and how it compared to Mothering. The cover of this issue had a photo of Joey Lawrence and his wife. Even so, I thought maybe it'd be an okay magazine.

But no.

The front cover also boasted tips for handling "breastfeeding bullies," written by Nanny Stella. Mothering is so breastfeeding friendly that it hadn't occurred to me that other parenting magazines may not be as positive (even if you're writing for a pool of subscribers who use formula or bottles, why would you say something against breastfeeding when you're a parenting magazine? Or why would you, as a doctor's office, put such a magazine in your lobby?). I turned to the article and was very disappointed by its take on breastfeeding.

Quotes:

A mom's job is to meet the needs of her baby, not the wants of breastfeeding fanatics... I write this not to get into the breastfeeding vs. formula debate. We all know breast is best... And I should say for the record that I am an advocate for breastfeeding...

Okay. Meet your baby's needs. That's good. For newborns that would mean feeding on demand, skin to skin contact, and warmth.

Breast is best. It may be true (and the recent catch phrase) but I'm not such a fan of that wording (see HERE for a post explaining the importance of word choice and re-normalizing breastfeeding in our culture). Saying that breastfeeding is normal may be the more suitable statement.

An advocate for breastfeeding. Bravo! Except that she's not. I'm sorry, but you don't say you're an advocate for something like breastfeeding and then put the whammy on it unless you're a poser. You want to know who is a real breastfeeding advocate? PhD in Parenting, that's who. I love that blogger. She's an advocate, Nanny Stella is not.

These breastfeeding fanatics of whom she speaks... Who are they, exactly?

...I am not a fan of certain breastfeeding bullies, otherwise known as 'lactivists.' You know, the ones who want your baby hanging off your boob 24/7 until she's ready for elementary school.

Ah. Yes. The lactivists. The women who breastfeed their babies (perhaps in public!) without apologizing for doing so. The ones who attend Le Leche League meetings. Who recommend lactation consultants to other mother's struggling with breastfeeding difficulties. Who rally around and volunteer for nurse-ins in the name of other women who have been discriminated against or made to feel humiliated for breastfeeding. Who believe that feeding your child in a normal way is, well, normal. Who don't judge a woman or her child for enjoying the nursing relationship past 6 months. Or, as Nanny Stella calls them: bullies.

An evil, smelly bully. Yup, that's me! I consider myself a lactivist and yet I neither have a child constantly hanging off my boob (what a demeaning description she chose to describe such a comforting, gentle relationship) neither does it look like I'll nurse my daughter until she enters school (certainly, there are mother/child pairs who do choose to continue that long. But I've never NEVER once heard those mothers ever tell any other mother that they must also do so).

To peg lactivists as women who interfere in another mother's life is an attempt to drive a wedge between mothering communities that I don't believe is at all warrented. The pro-breastfeeding women (and men) I've known wish to be respected for their informed choices and want other mothers to be respected in the same way, whether they're nursing, pumping and bottle feeding, or formula feeding. They're about knowledge and empowerment, not denouncement and ridicule. Nanny Stella is villainizing a group that should be her partners (if she, Nanny Stella, were in fact truly an advocate of breastfeeding. but she's not) and I'm quite sad that she's chosen to write (and that the magazine chose to publish) this article aimed at expecting mothers that is so intent on building up barriers.
Anyway, there's more from that article and the magazine. Maybe I'll write about it (hence the Part 1 above), maybe I won't. I just wanted to share my disappointment with the magazine. I don't believe it has a place in a doctor's lobby. And I'll be writing both my doctor's office and Pregnancy a letter to tell them how I feel.