Tuesday, December 29, 2009

What do Ted Danson, Jude Law and I have in common?

Besides famous careers, paparazzi at our doorsteps and loads of money, that is?

We light a few (them more than me!) candles each year on December 29th.

And here's a little insight into us late December folks (from How Stuff Works):


A Capricorn born on December 29 has the ability to be transformed by spiritual significance, but only after experiencing a profound and transfiguring reality. Often attractive and charming, they have a devastating effect upon those who come under their spell. Unlike most Capricorns, they enjoy taking risks.



Indeed. Indeed.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

my first letter to santa

Dear Mr. Claus,

Your mission, if you choose to accept it (and I think you have to, since you're Santa and all), is to find playthings that Uli will enjoy more than:

  • the tub of petroleum jelly that has a lid which makes a delightful "pop" sound every time she takes it off and puts it back on and takes it off and puts it back on and takes it off and puts it back on and takes it off and puts it back on and takes it off and puts it back on and takes it off and puts it back on...
  • Lula & Ruby's shiny stainless steel dog food dishes that clang and ring when you smack them together and are stackable and smell of kibble.

Santa, we have been hard-pressed to find other equally exciting toys that are covered in less dog-slobber and aren't called for in make-your-own-Nix recipes. So we're leaving it up to you.

We will understand if all you can think of are new dog bowls and a larger tub of Vasaline.  

Regards,

Uli's Mommy




Monday, December 21, 2009

Perfect




snot
drool
backwash
poop
pee
snot
scabs
screaming
flailing


giggles
kisses
cuddles
incoherent whispered secrets
pats
"Ma-ma-ma"s
hugs
clapping
smiles
love


Perfectly Merry.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Tree Time!




Here are a few of the facts:
  1. We actually set-up the tree weeks ago, but since Hanukkah was first it didn't seem right to flaunt Christmas all over the internet.
  2. I don't like artificial trees (I usually say, "fake" but I know that's rude) because they don't smell right.
  3. Justin doesn't like real trees because they shed their needles.
  4. We have an artificial tree this year (but next year...)
  5. Cats climb trees. They don't care if it's a real tree or a plastic tree.
  6. Between the dogs, the cats, and the toddler, the bottom half of the tree is nearly always ornament-free. 
  7. IT'S CHRISTMAS THIS WEEK!!!!!  (How did that happen?)

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Words, words, words

I've been reading a book that Justin gave me on the second night of Hanukkah, and, basically, I have been obsessed by it this entire week. I would find myself at work, staring out the window, wondering what Julia and Valentina were up to at that very moment, and then I'd sheepishly remember they were fictional characters and weren't doing much of anything other than being words on a page...  My intense concentration on the novel didn't leave me much time to do, well, anything else, which is why I haven't posted in a week.

But I'm back now and New-Book-less (though both Christmas & my birthday are coming up! *hint*  *hint*)

In bigger and more exciting than I-Love-Books news:  Uli spoke her first official word this week. It was a Hanukkah miracle! 

She's had "Ma-ma-ma" and "Da-da-da" going on for a while now, but they need a bit more polishing (and the loss of a syllable each) to really count as actual, fully-composed words.  

She's been signing "milk" and "more" for some time (using them interchangeably) to tell us, "I want [what's in your hand]/[what's over there somewhere]/[what I just dropped]/[mommy to nurse me]/[something not in view; please guess what it is and then make it appear before me]!"

But last Saturday she without a doubt and clear as a bell said, "More!" aloud, correctly and enthusiastically. And in front of witnesses (I was there, she was speaking to Justin, and my sister Emily was visiting).

The item so desired that it prompted her to break her 14-month code of silence?
A ride on Daddy's shoulders.




He'd put her down after romping around with her for ten minutes (he was exhausted) but scooped her right back up and danced around with her again after her request, so very very proud that he was the one she wanted more of.

Adorable. It was a wonderful beginning to the holiday.


*Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger (of The Time Traveler's Wife fame).

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Overheard

Remember how I said Uli's favorite story was Christmas for 10?  Last night I overheard this gem:


Justin (reading to Uli): "Five draw near,"
[picture of five children sitting at their grandma's feet]

Justin (reading to Uli): "Six stories to hear."
[grandma is reading one book, and there are five others stacked-up, waiting their turn]
  
Justin (aside, sweetly): "Aren't they lucky. I sure wish we had six stories to read instead of this same damn story over and over, again and again."


Hah! Made me giggle.

And yes, he read it to her several more times (and I've already read it to her twice this morning)

Thursday, December 10, 2009

snow day: how to keep warm

Unaware of the final accumulation (estimations were between 12"-16"), there is simply the acceptance that it has been blizzardy here. And when going out in the after-blizzard, one should bundle-up. Especially if this is one's first time playing in the snow, as it was for Uli.

How to dress warmly for snow when you don't have a snowsuit, or a jacket, or boots: 

Wear your pajamas like longjohns (don't even change out of the ones you were wearing overnight:  they're nice and warm).

Put on socks and shoes.

Put on a shirt with a hood and wear the hood.

Slip some plastic bags over your feet and legs (that's right, right over your shoes).

Put on a pair of your father's tube socks (they'll be thigh-highs).

Slide your legwarmers (thank you, Auntie Emily!) over your legs to hold the giant man socks and slippery plastic bags in place.

Now it's time for acrylic sweatpants and a big bulky sweater.

Winter hat.

Mittens.

And outside you go!!




Try to avoid face-plants into the snow. But if they cannot be avoided, turn your sopping noggin and look directly into the camera and appear pitiful and adorable.


You will rule the world. And the rest of you, the parts other than your snow-covered face, will be toasty warm.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

What fun it is to laugh and sing...

...a sleighing slaying song tonight!

Vampire slaying songs, that is.



I am often struck dumb when I take a moment to think about how much my husband loves me. He's such an amazing person, I have so much fun with him, and he not only loves me, he likes me! (I'm sure many of us grownups have come to realize that the one does not necessarily mean the other.)

Lately I've been particularly grateful that he, after some initial hesitation, has taken wholeheartedly to watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer seasons on DVD with me. We made it through the sketchy Season 1 quickly (with much apologizing and assuring him that it'd get better--though I don't think he really minded), Season 2 with some eye rolling but with more enjoyment, and then on through Seasons 3-5 with a lot of interesting discussions about the Buffyverse, character development, and where the story is going.

We finished-up Season 6 last night. Willow/Tara, Xander/Anya, the whole dramatic, lovely arch. Loved it. We'll be starting Season 7, the last season, tonight. Assuming it's available at the library. And I'm excited to be sharing it with my best friend.

Just had to dork-out on you and share my happiness! 


Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Whose fault is it, anyways?

Taking a break from my family chit-chat, I just wanted to post this.

It's not really a funny subject, but I had a chuckle over this post from one of my favorite blogs, I Blame the Patriarchy.

Surely, the very best rape prevention suggestions ever (putting responsibility where it's due, rather than on the victim/potiential victim).


Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work
  1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.
  2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.
  3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to assault her.
  4. If you are in a lift and a woman gets in, don’t assault her. You know what? Don’t even ogle her.
  5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not assault her.
  6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or assault her.
  7. When you lurk in bushes and doorways with criminal intentions, always wear bright clothing, wave a flashlight, or play “Boys Who Rape (Should All Be Destroyed)” by the Raveonettes on a boombox really loud, so women in the vicinity will know where to aim their flamethrowers.
  8. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from assaulting women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you when in public.
  9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to assault a woman, you can hand the whistle to your buddy, so s/he can blow it to call for help.
  10. Give your buddy a revolver, so that when indifferent passers-by either ignore the rape whistle, or gather round to enjoy the spectacle, s/he can pistol-whip you.
Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be assaulting her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.

Monday, December 7, 2009

In my house, heeling is an issue

But this post isn't about the kind of "heel" my dogs are so bad at. This is what's in store for me as the mom of a baby girl in today's society. 

I thought this photo of Suri Cruise, from last week's People magazine, was rather shocking.  The girl is THREE for goodness' sake.

High heels?!



Well, consider me stupefied when I did a quick Google search to get a copy of that pic and I came upon this article with a photo of another pair of high heeled shoes on little Suri's tootsies!

The commenters of that article seemed split between
 
"Aw, so cute and fashionable. And girls will be girls..."  


"Heels are harmful to feet and should be worn by no one," and

"Call child services, her parents have lost their minds."

Katie Holmes is quoted as saying that Suri likes the shoes and people should just back off.

Okay, that at least makes sense to me. I have no say in how Homes and Cruise raise their daughter and I shouldn't.

But will I allow Uli to wear high heels at age 3? I don't know for certain (imagining my baby girl batting her eyes and begging to wear them--though, who gave them to us in the first place?), but I think not. Knowing that they're ball room dance shoes makes me feel a little better about a child wearing them. But only just kind of. I mean, I've pretty much given up wearing heels myself because they are so bad for my feet, and to think about putting my baby's feet into them...

On another note, this website is far creepier than any one or two instances of a three year old wearing high heels. I cannot imagine living a life in which my baby daughter has strangers watching her and a creepy fashion fan blog about her clothes. I mean, I admit, I find myself hoping that people think my daughter is as cute as I think she is (mama vanity). But a blog about what she's wearing from day to day created and maintained by a stranger? No thank you.The occasional "What a darling!" from the grandmas at the grocery store is sufficient for me. Anything else would be icky.

So, really, I kind of feel guilty writing this post. Suri's parents have enough to think about without being criticized for their daughter's footwear.

Nevertheless, since I don't have the paparazzi on my doorsteep, stalking my child, I have the time to consider whether or not I want to risk her having bunions by age six. Just wanted to put it out there:  high heels on a three year old?

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Holiday Book List

Anyone have favorite book titles appropriate for the Hanukkah and Christmas (and winter solstice) season they'd like to share? I'm starting to actively try and grow our children's book collection and could use some seasonally appropriate ideas. Here are the titles we own so far:

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
Classic, obviously, and one I look forward to reading aloud annually once Uli gets a bit older.

Nutcracker by E.T.A. Hoffman and illustrated by Maurice Sendak
Another classic must-read with intriguing (somewhat creepy) illustrations in Sendak's signature style. Again, for reading aloud to older children.




Christmas for 10 by Cathryn Falwell
A counting book. A family decorates, bakes, sings, and reads together in celebration of Christmas. (So far, this is Uli's favorite holiday book.)

The Bells of Christmas by Virginia Hamilton
I haven't finished reading this yet, but it's another one for older children.

A Year of Beasts by Ashley Wolff
Not a holiday book, per se, though does show the family preparing to cut down their Christmas tree in the December section. One of my favorites to read and re-read to Uli (few words but lots of story in the pictures).

My Home is the Polar Regions: Who Am I? by Valerie Tracqui
Again, not a holiday book but shows pictures of animals, like reindeer, who are part of many holiday stories/traditions.

Circle of Seasons by Gerda Muller
A beautifully illustrated book that is actually a compilation of four different books (one for each season) by Muller. The 'winter' section is particularly lovely and includes scenes of both Hanukkah and Christmas celebrations.

And that's really all we have so far. Not nearly enough (says the bibliophile)! So tell me, which must-have books am I missing?

Friday, December 4, 2009

Product Review: GT's Multi-Green Kombucha




I will preface this review by stating that I adore and gulp down and love GT's organic raw "Gingerade" kombucha. It might cost $4, but it is divine: spicy, tingly & yummy (what more could you want in a drink?).

However. This "Multi-Green" kombucha is an entirely different story.

Here's a product that does not spread holiday cheer.

It is the dregs from the murkiest swap.

It is the slimy stuff from the bottom of the refrigerator.

It is the crud you need to wipe off your shoes after you walk through the forest in the rain.

It is the weird goo hanging from the tip of your dog's nose after she dives into the lagoon and comes back panting excitedly reeking of frog and fish.

Yes. It's that bad.

Skip the Multi-Green and march straight over to the Gingerade. Mmmmm, good.

To read more about the fermented tea called kombucha (kom BOO cha) you can check out the Wikipedia info. The bravest of us might even try to make some ourselves.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Pretty in PJs




Today I took Uli to daycare in her pajamas.

It was one of those mornings.


I think as long as I'M not the one leaving the house in my jammies we're doing okay. Right?

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

A poem that makes me laugh (& English students cry)

a poem by G. Nolst Trenité


Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!
ien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

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